Connecting with long-lost family by Julius Bloomfield

EDITOR’S NOTE: We have invited members of Penticton and Summerland councils, as well as several members of the school board, to submit a guest column, on any topic. We encouraged writers to pen something personal and upbeat that’s not necessarily related to COVID-19 or municipal politics.

Asign at the pizza shop in Naramata asked, “Can we reboot 2020?” It certainly feels like we should — if only we could. But for me, 2020 started out as a year of promise and celebration.

My wife and I went to New Zealand in February to see my sister, and we timed the visit to coincide with another sister of mine visiting her from the UK. This was to be the first time ever we had been together.

Yes, I said ever.

Here is the background to that statement. Going back some 25 years, I was contacted by my estranged mother who I had not seen or heard from in over 30 years. As with all situations like this, the story is complicated, and the result was that I was brought up with one brother, knowing that I had a half-sister and half-brother somewhere out there, as well that I had not seen since we were all small children. When I met my mother she told me I had one more sister who was older than me, adopted at birth and was now living in New Zealand So there are a total of five siblings scattered around the world that had little to no contact with each other.

As in most family cases, the five offspring do not all have the same opinion as to what to do about this. My two brothers do not have any intention of reconnecting with the rest of the family and one of them is full of resentment about our upbringing and has permanently self-isolated from the family.

My two sisters and I have made efforts to reconnect and this resulted in a wonderful holiday down under where we really got to connect and understand each other in depth.

It took many years to get to this stage due to distance and a certain amount of trepidation on the parts of all concerned and the support we got from our respective spouses was instrumental to the success of that holiday.

In telling my story to folks at home, it becomes apparent that there are many people with similar stories of long-lost or unknown siblings getting together. Sometimes those stories show up in the press, or on TV in embarrassing “talk shows.” Their stories are different, but yet very relatable to others from similar backgrounds, and the emotions that flow are the same for all of us.

The common thread that I have found amongst this group is that in order to deal with the past you need to put the past behind you and move forward, as there is no telling what the real reasons are for those past decisions that have had such a profound effect.

Perhaps there is something to be learnt from the life experiences of this group, and that is, after a life altering event such as a pandemic is over we should put it in the past and move forward with some added knowledge and experience under our belts to ensure a better future.

Julius Bloomfield is a Penticton city councillor.