Hold on to your kindness just a little longer, people

Is it me or is coronavirus bringing out the cranky?

It’s been nearly two months since COVID-19 closed our doors and ordered us inside, but at least the pandemic opened our hearts.

Caremongering, a term coined by Canadians, took hold as an antidote to scaremongering. In a time of uncertainty, rather than spread fear and panic, a group of Torontonians showed the world how to connect through acts of kindness.

People across the country were grocery shopping for neighbours, sewing masks for the frontline, fueling food banks, babysitting healthcare workers’ children, singing on balconies, posting funny memes to make us laugh and banging pots and pans in honour of workers. Coronavirus was stealing lives, but it couldn’t rob us of our spirit.

Until now. The longer this virus goes on, the more frustrated we become. Are edginess and irritation winning over courtesy and kindness?

I prefer to keep my columns positive, but lately I’ve met some real meanie-heads.

I was walking (well-spaced) at Mission Creek with a couple of friends, when a man and woman approached. In that awkward way we now avoid others, my friend and I scrambled so far off the gravel path, we were practically sliding down the bank. Meanwhile our third friend remained, apparently closer to the centre of the path than she realized.

Making a dramatic show of manoeuvring around her, the woman offered some snarky comments about space. We apologized and suggested we were doing our best to maintain distance from one another.

“I’m not worried about you,” she scoffed. “I’m worried about me.”

So venomous was her tone, we were stung — like children chastised for careless behaviour. We were flabbergasted because we thought we were doing the right thing.

Rather than happily chat, we spent several minutes dismantling the stranger’s behaviour. It is understandable that older individuals are nervous. They are at higher risk of significant illness or even death due to the virus, but

I dare say that woman walked faster and logged more mileage than me. She probably brought a Fitbit; her manners she left at home.

Recently, my mom was diligently following the arrow down an aisle in a store. Headed in the correct direction, she realized she’d passed by a product on her list.

She carefully backed her cart up — just a little — to grab it. Meanwhile a couple coming her way took offence, presumably because they felt she was threatening their space. Eye rolling, headshaking and tsk-tsking ensued. I think it’s called shaming.

Their nastiness rattled my mom. “Seriously?” she asked.

The other woman replied, not with words, but a purposeful cough directed at my mother.

More than rude, that behaviour is reprehensible and potentially liable. Is this really what we’ve come to?

Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital, Gail Saltz, told today.com the pandemic is making people irritable and quicker to anger. “When you give people high anxiety or even when you give them a lot of sadness and loss, irritability is often a symptom,” she said.

People are scared. They’re beyond stressed about their finances and the economic state of the country — indeed, the world. They’re mourning the loss of normal social lives, maybe even loved ones.

If we need a model for behaviour, let’s look to our Provincial Health Officer Dr. Bonnie Henry. Learned and wise, compassionate and kind, she has been the voice of reason and reassurance during this strange and frightening time.

I think she’s fabulous. Like many people, I’ve admired her shoes. But that hasn’t stopped me from getting frustrated with her.

“Yes, I love your Fluevogs, but come on, doc! Let us out already!” I’ve wanted to yell.

After all, I have cute shoes, too. And I plan to run in them for the nearest bar when this is all over, no matter how bad my hair looks.

Of course, it’s not Dr. Henry’s fault. Maybe I’m a little cranky.

Pondering this on a recent morning run, I noted window after window in home after home in my neighbourhood filled with paper hearts in plentiful colours. Their caring messages made me smile.

Best of all? Bonnie Henry says if we hold the line a little longer, I can hug my mom by mid-May. Until then, keep it kind.

Shannon Linden writes a blog, magazine articles and grocery lists. Visit her at: shannonlinden.ca