Fudging the truth for the greater good
NEW YORK — Generally speaking, mom Shannon McCormick loves fruits and vegetables and wants to pass that on to her fouryear-old, but her resolve is tested when she encounters her plump, red nemesis: the tomato.
“Tomatoes are my kryptonite. I hate them. My daughter loves them and I don’t want to even suggest that they’re anything less than delicious,” said McCormick, in Columbus, Ohio.
That’s why she choked down an evil chunk when her child stabbed it with a fork and held it to her lips a few months back.
“I just sat there and looked at her and thought, ‘Well I just have to do this,”’ McCormick said. “I swallowed it whole.”
Kids, parents are people, too. Remember that when you’re older and learn of all the little things yours hid from you for the greater good or their pleasure alone. Absent serious crimes and misdemeanours, you’ll live to tell about it. Consider such moments great family stories and decide for yourselves whether you want to carry on the time-honoured tradition of hidden vices and small deceits in parenting.
“I’VE BEEN HIDING TWINKIES UNDER THE FRONT CAR SEAT SINCE MY FIRST KID WAS IN
DIAPERS,” GENEVIEVE WEST
“I’ve been hiding Twinkies under the front car seat since my first kid was in diapers,” said Genevieve West, a stay-at-home mom of three in Portland, Ore.
“Now that she’s 12, my husband and I hide all evidence of our Starbucks trips or Thai takeout so we don’t suffer her wrath.”
Fast food was also a problem for Katrina Olson in Urbana, Ill.
“My husband abhors it, so when our girls were toddlers and wanted to go to McDonald’s, we told them it was closed for cleaning on Tuesdays or Thursdays, or whatever day it happened to be. It worked for several years,” she said.
Her girls are now 10 and 12 and their parents have other secrets. One involves Whiskers the cat. Or rather, the gender of Whiskers the cat.
When the sisters were about 18 months old and three, they picked out Whiskers at a shelter. The family had to wait three days before picking HIM up once he was neutered. That’s when Olson’s oldest stated her preference for a girl pet.
“My husband and I discussed it and decided we would just tell them it was a girl, so Whiskers has spent most of his life wearing girl doll clothes and pink bows. When the girls accompanied me to a vet appointment, I called ahead and requested that they refer to Whiskers as a her,” Olson said.
Fast forward about seven years, when her oldest was flipping through a cat-care book that got her thinking something was amiss.
“She tells me she thinks Whiskers is a boy. I feign ignorance,” mom said. “She’s almost 13 and I still haven’t told her the truth.”
Eli Federman in Miami Beach, Fla., is the senior vice-president of an online startup. He and his wife quickly realized that handing over an iPad to their daughter before she hit her second birthday was a mistake.
“She was always attracted to the iPhone. When she was around one, we bought her the mini iPad. We thought because of the kids games that are on there, and because of the learning apps, she could interact,” he said. And interact she did. “It just got so out of control. Even when she went to sleep she would request it. She’d be in the crib shaking the crib going, ‘iPad, iPad, iPad.’ She refused to go to sleep without it. There was no moderation. We were, like, we have to get rid of this, but we wanted it for ourselves, so we lock it in the chemical cabinet and wait to use it when she’s sleeping or we’re out or something,” he said.
Writer Laura Hedgecock of Farmington Hills, Mich., blogs about family and the importance of sharing memories. She also comes from a long line of treat-stashers.
When she buys Girl Scout cookies, she keeps a box for herself and savours it for days, whereas her two teen sons scarf their share in a couple of hours. But they’re on to her.
“I hide chocolate in my underwear drawer,” she said. “In their opinions, no craving is worth delving into that territory!”