40 YEARS, 6 KIDS. OH (BIG) BROTHER!
They call Lawney Donaldson, shown above with his first little brother Blayne Bosley, the Big Brothers of Regina poster boy. He has volunteered with the organization for 40 years, mentoring six kids — even as they passed into adulthood. Along the way, he h
Lawney Donaldson vividly remembers the first time he saw Blayne Bosley.
Sitting in his car, the then-21year-old Donaldson and the “goofy looking” five-year-old boy stared blankly at each other, equally unaware of what to do next.
“I said, ‘So what would you like to do?’ And the first thing to come out of his mouth was, ‘Well, I like McDonald’s.’
“I still remember the squeaky little voice he had — and he’s still got a lot of it,” Donaldson said with a laugh.
Jump ahead 40 years and the two men have forged a deep friendship, and compiled a lifetime of memories.
And it all started with Big Brothers of Regina.
Bosley’s father died of leukemia when he was just two years old, leaving him and his four-year-old brother without a male role model. Three years later, the Bosley brothers each found themselves under the mentorship of a Big Brother.
The boys’ mother, Stella Bosley, admitted she was “pretty nervous” after her young sons were accepted into the Big Brothers program.
“Lawney and Blayne were very compatible and it just seemed like they were matched perfectly,” Stella said.
Between movies, gym nights and partaking in myriad sporting activities, Donaldson and Bosley regularly spent time together during Bosley’s childhood. Years later, they still see each other at least once a month.
“Most of the things that we have done in our lives have been pure fun and respectful,” Bosley said. “We’ve been together 40 years and we are still, in a way, on our best behaviour together.”
Well, aside from when their competitive fuels are burning.
They both agreed Donaldson is the more competitive of the two, but that didn’t stop Bosley from reminding his big brother of a certain softball tournament.
“The only thing I couldn’t really do was score goals or hit home runs,” Bosley said laughing. “But I did beat him in my lifetime.”
With a wry smile, Donaldson said he had no memory of Bosley hitting more dingers than he did.
To counter that story, Donaldson still reminds Bosley of the one time they picked up two girls off Albert Street.
In Grade 9 at the time, Bosley told Donaldson he knew the girls. They pulled over and asked if the girls wanted a ride home.
“Instead of Blayne getting out of the truck and letting those two girls in, he slid over beside me, put his arm around me and let the two girls sit by the (passenger) door,” Donaldson said. “It was really funny. He’ll never live that one down.”
Soon after, Bosley told Donaldson he was dating one of the girls. That relationship lasted six years.
A few years later, Bosley found the woman of his dreams. He asked Donaldson to be his best man.
“There was really no decision. I didn’t even think it was odd, although he might have,” Bosley said with a laugh.
Whether it’s a dad, a friend, sibling or big brother, Bosley believes every kid needs a person he can interact and joke around with. For him, Donaldson has been that person.
But Bosley isn’t the only little brother Donaldson has taken under his wing. There are five other boys, some of whom are now grown men, that Donaldson has mentored since he became Bosley’s Big Brother in 1975.
“I’ve seen the impact it can have on them and myself, and it gives me such a good feeling,” Donaldson said of the relationships he has formed with his Little Brothers.
A few years ago, Donaldson received a phone call in the middle of the night from one of his Little Brothers, then 38 years old.
“He was thinking about me and the good times we had because he was telling his fiancee about me,” Donaldson said.
Currently, Donaldson has two boys — Chaz Ducharme, 16, and Kian Ferris, 8 — he’s mentoring.
Kian has only been under Donaldson’s wing for a couple months, but his mother, Michelle Ferris, trusts him “100 per cent” with her son.
Ferris’ husband died of brain cancer in March, and although no one can replace him, she is grateful Donaldson is in Kian’s life.
“He looks forward to his visits with Lawney,” she said. “Knowing that Kian’s doing activities guys like to do is awesome. “It’s been priceless.” Ferris recently befriended one of Donaldson’s daughters and they became Facebook friends. One night while looking through Donaldson family photos on Facebook, Ferris saw Ducharme in some of the photos.
“It confirmed to me that this is just right,” she said.
“They consider him part of the family. So that’s what I want for Kian, too. I want him not only to have the male influence, but also other people to go to.
“I’m just one person. It takes a village to raise a child.”
Since becoming Kian’s big brother, Donaldson has been to every one of the eight-year-old’s football and soccer games except one.
Donaldson has also introduced Kian to the Regina Pats and lifting weights.
With his big brother looking on, Kian was able to leg press 95 pounds at the City of Regina Fieldhouse. His goal is to be able to press 110 pounds by Christmas.
As of Nov. 18, Kian is among 211 Regina kids (ages six to 16) being mentored through Big Brothers of Regina. Another 31 are on the waiting list, which fluctuates on a daily basis, said executive director Ash Noureldin.
Through its three mentoring programs — traditional match, in-school mentoring and Game On! — that number has exploded since 2012, when the organization mentored just 19 kids.
Noureldin attributes Big Brothers’ growth to a better job of communicating what the experience of being a Big Brother is all about.
Like Donaldson, Noureldin has also spent time as a Big Brother to two boys.
“This is something that you’re privileged to do — like one of the highlights of your week,” Noureldin said, adding it’s like a “free pass” to be a kid again.
“We’re trying to impact healthy development in kids entering into adulthood, but it always ends up being way more than that, and the impacts end up being exponential for everybody involved — not just the little kids.”
Noureldin dubbed Donaldson the “poster boy” for Big Brothers of Regina. With 40 years of volunteering for the organization, Donaldson is also one of the longest serving Big Brothers in Canada.
Bosley couldn’t agree more about the role Donaldson has played in his life.
“It’s been normal for me having Lawney in my life, but abnormal if you think about him as a person that really had no vested interest in me or my family from the start.”
Although he isn’t formally a big brother, Bosley is like a big brother to Donaldson’s kids. Bosley and his own teenage son have talked about mentoring in the future.
“Eventually I think we will have Little Brothers in our world, too,” he said.
Especially if those boys have squeaky voices and a hankering for McDonald’s.
We’re trying to impact healthy development in kids entering into adulthood, but it always ends up being way more than that, and the impacts end up being exponential for everybody involved …