A WEEK OF RESURRECTIONS
Here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
MOVIES
Big releases on Friday: Mechanic: Resurrection; Don’t Breathe. Big picture: He’s like Jason Bourne, only with 10 per cent of the vocabulary. Jason Statham returns as Arthur Bishop (a.k.a. the Mechanic). The plot reads like TV’s 24 meets Taken meets Kill Bill. Bishop is forced to complete a list of impossible assassinations of the world’s deadliest men in 36 hours — all to save his one true love, played by Jessica Alba. (To be fair, most men would likely entertain a couple of assassinations to impress Alba.) Even Alba gets in on the hand-to-hand combat and at least one obligatory swimsuit appearance.
Meanwhile, Don’t Breathe is like Saw meets Scent of a Woman meets To Catch a Thief. When a trio of young friends breaks into the house of a wealthy blind man, they think they’ll get away with an easy heist. Turns out he’s the senior citizen version of the Mechanic (as trained by Hannibal Lecter). Forecast: Put Mechanic in the category of a sequel better left buried. I’d enjoy it more if it truly lived up to its title and Arthur Bishop came back as vampire assassin.
As for Don’t Breathe, I predict that blind guy will end up being Al Pacino’s Col. Slade from Scent of a Woman, and the true horror will come from the burglars being forced to listen to him say “whooh-ah” and talk about how women smell.
TV
Big event: Better Late Than Never (Tuesday, Global/NBC). Big picture: It’s like a National Lampoon’s vacation starring four Clark Griswolds. This reality TV series is Amazing Race meets Grumpy Old Men meets Space Cowboys. The over-the-top concept finds four aging, outrageous celebrities (William Shatner, Henry Winkler, Terry Bradshaw and George Foreman) travelling across Asia with no itinerary and no help — other than a comedic sidekick (Jeff Dye), who intentionally leads them astray as the cameras roll.
Who hasn’t wondered whether Winkler can ride an actual elephant trunk? And I can’t be the only one who has daydreamed of watching Capt. Kirk himself go up against Foreman in a boxing ring? All this and more awaits!
The four clueless, over-the-top personalities hit four “exotic” countries and six cities armed with zero filters, handlers or sensitivity training. Forecast: For once, I’m compelled to watch a new reality show. Foreman calls the foursome “the world’s oldest boy band” — an idea that has likely already been green lit by a TV executive for Season 2. Honourable mention: MTV Music Video Awards (Aug. 28, MTV); XOXO (Friday, Netflix). The major clash is between Beyonce (11 nominations) and Adele (eight nods). But the women’s respective singles, Formation and Hello, must contend against Drake’s Hotline Bling for video of the year. Meanwhile, Netflix scratches XOXO, an original movie about romance and millennial career aspiration set at an electronic dance music festival. Strangers are brought together by a love for DJs, drugs, dreams, flirtation and a musical genre. The movie matches the emotion of a John Hughes coming-of-age movie, and the fashion of Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet, with the slogans of a Hallmark card (e.g. “Jump and the universe will catch you.”)
MUSIC
Big releases on Friday: Britney Spears (Glory). Big picture: Oops, she does it again. Britney is back with a new album. Her club-crafted debut single, Make Me … ft. G-Eazy, features lyrics like “No rules / From the bar to the car / Let’s take it back to my room / Igniting the heat of the moment; let the sparks fuse /Blowing up to the ceiling, we’re burning bright.” Hmmm.
Sounds like someone thinks they’re a 20-something clubber again instead of 34, eh? Forecast: Britney has called the project a “left turn” but it sounds more like she aims to coast in neutral for her latest glory bid.