Official inflation figures don’t reflect reality

Statistics Canada seems to shop from a different store, Chris Nelson writes.

As jokes go, it isn’t that funny. Still, you’ve got to give Statistics Canada a sliver of credit for having the nerve to deliver a classic one-liner as it did a week ago.

“Canada’s annual rate of inflation came in at one per cent on a year-over-year basis in June,” was how it went, and while it won’t make the repertoire of Jerry Seinfeld when he visits Calgary in a few months, it does deliver a certain punch to the solar plexus.

Seriously, does anyone actually believe our cost of living increased by only one miserly cent on every dollar spent since this time last year?

What are these statisticians actually counting? What does this nebulous basket of goods ordinary Canadians are supposedly spending on consist of? Maybe it’s metretall, stuffed toy giraffes made in Vietnam and now available at Walmart for a buck as opposed to 99 cents way back in June 2016?

I’ll admit there’s a little skin in this column. In the past three weeks alone I’ve fought with my utility company, internet provider, insurance company and, in the current campaign, the bank, over increased fees and charges reaching way beyond any one per cent malarkey.

It’s doubtful this assorted bunch — nor the province or city, which jack up fees of every kind by about five per cent a year — is only targeting my household for such increases. Nope. I suspect I have much company.

So, I’ll guess your cable, heating, phone, insurance, driver’s licence, fishing licence, do-anything licence, garbage removal, sewer service, water charge, bank fees, transit tickets — the list is as long as your lifespan — have jumped by more than any one per cent since last year.

Meanwhile, if the utility companies add one more rider to their bills they’ll top the lineup of the Kentucky Derby field.

So what has fallen in price to balance this endless ratcheting upward of the basics of life? Think hard, something must have. Ah yes, TVs. True enough. If you want to buy a dozen TVs each and every year then you’re one lucky Canadian. So much so you could become the electronic equivalent of those famous old “cat ladies” from years gone by — hundreds of ’em, turned on, tuned in and running amok showing reruns of the Big Bang Theory.

What else? Food? Come on, even when it doesn’t rise in price the size comes down. It’s termed shrinkflation. Do these StatsCan boys and girls actually measure what you get for the same money after 12 months have passed?

Now I never liked Toblerone bars much, but those chewy Swiss Alps famously got a tad farther apart a while back as the air between the slopes increased. The chocolate bar was hardly alone — a U.K. study showed 2,500 products have recently shrunk while retaining the same price point.

Yes, things have invariably become more expensive over the years. But nowadays, the kicker to this one per cent sleight of hand — never forget who pays the salaries of those StatsCan folk — is such that official rates then trickle down into our annual increase in taxable allowance amounts, old age pension hikes, and as the end point for salary negotiations with your boss.

It has become like Everest was to George Mallory. We climb it because it’s there, so, on bended knee, we strive for a raise equal to this glorified but bogus official inflation rate. And, if we’re lucky, in return we’ll hear: “No please get up. Here’s a tissue. We’re only doing what’s right — one per cent it is then.”

We’re being had, ladies and gentlemen. Not by nickels and dimes, but by five dollars here, six dollars there and 10 fewer sheets on that toilet roll.

We’re getting quietly hosed, yet so busy taking shots at each other over political affiliations we don’t get this sick joke. It is on us.

We strive for a raise equal to this glorified but bogus official inflation rate.