SHOE ON THE OTHER FOOT
Men get taste of walking in heels
Time has already allowed the pain to fade. The smile, however, is still glued on.
Maybe it sounds strange to associate smiling with the Regina YWCA’s Walk A Mile In Her Shoes event, a fundraiser for the organization’s programs that support those affected by domestic violence. There were a few moments of self-consciousness over the noon hour Thursday: “Why am I having fun right now? This is a very serious issue.” But then my legs would buckle and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Despite being a big fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race, it was my first time in high heels. And as I walked around the perimeter of Victoria Park alongside about 150 other people, I realized quickly that strutting in stilettos is much harder than women make it look.
I am not particularly graceful. And my colleagues Jeff DeDekker, Rob Vanstone and Chris Harbron, who joined me in this effort, won’t be offended if I say they aren’t particularly light-footed either. Our intern/high-heels walking coach Jennifer Ackerman gave us enough pointers to prevent broken bones, but it wasn’t pretty.
And that’s where the joy came from: The awkward strides, the rolled ankles, the grimaces and the sense of community. Most importantly, the joy came from making a difference.
In its first incarnation in Regina, the event raised more than $15,000. That means a lot in Saskatchewan, where we lead all Canadian provinces with the highest rate of police-reported family violence.
Until recently, the subject was too taboo, too hidden, to launch a meaningful campaign to eliminate abuse or sexual violence. Even as a symbol, men forgoing a stereotypical masculine image by donning red high heels and painfully trudging along downtown Regina means we’re making progress. Because it’s the deformed notion of masculinity that causes violence; this bastardized concept that being a man means bottling up emotions and taking what you want. Is it a surprise then, if men aspire to this deluded benchmark, that they don’t respect their partners? That the smallest of transgressions results in a violent outburst? That it becomes common?
For decades, the conversations around domestic violence centred around women “putting up with it” and not leaving. As a society, we have a better understanding about the difficulty of that seemingly-simple action, and the dangers that come with it: Women can die when they try to leave.
The topic always makes me think of a distilled version of a Margaret Atwood quote: “At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.”
On Thursday, I was happy to be laughed at during my 0.75 kilometres in red high heels. It meant I was doing my part, however small, to raise awareness about one of the most important issues our society has yet to properly address.