Four weird Frankfurt debuts you won’t see here
Canadians don’t have to mourn the unavailability of these new models
We North Americans FRANKFURT often get short-shrifted by global automotive largesse, noses pressed flat against the glass while other markets are the recipients of hot-hatch and exotic bounty. But like jellied eels, rancid-smelling cigarettes and poorly ventilated hotel rooms, there are some things better left in Europe. Aside from all the jaw-dropping debuts on display at the Frankfurt Motor Show, there were a few head-scratchers that won’t be heading our way any time soon.
CHERY TIGGO CONCEPT
Chinese automaker Chery has been trying to break into the North American market since its ill-fated partnership with Malcolm Bricklin. Given the disastrous (and expensive) outcome of Bricklin’s SV-1 venture, perhaps we dodged a bullet. That bullet should be reserved for Chery’s Tiggo crossover, a mishmash of every current concept design cue and the automotive equivalent of a multi-font ransom note paste-up. Lemon-sucking squint? Check. Suicide doors? Check. A 2001: A Space Odysseyinspired interior, complete with an Xbox interface? Dual-surfboard roof spoilers? Check and check. It is reportedly also equipped with facial recognition, so it’s just as well we’re unlikely to get the Tiggo here because it will most certainly be unhappy with the expression it sees on mine.
MERCEDES-BENZ X-CLASS
We’re so used to seeing the three-pointed star on premium luxury cars that it’s easy to forget all the heavy-duty transportation vehicles Mercedes-Benz manufactures for the European market. Still, the idea of a Mercedes-badged pickup truck seems incongruous, especially when you consider that it’s built on a Nissan platform. There are no plans to introduce the X-Class to North America, where the fiercely competitive mid-size truck segment targets a buyer who’s more impressed by strength and utility than status, and the top contenders are $10,000 less than the asking price of the X 200.
SKODA VISION E CONCEPT
When BMW introduced the X6 crossover in 2009, the roachbacked “coupe” was almost universally proclaimed one of most ungainly cars ever built. Yet it was an explosive sales hit, spawning a host of competitors. And now, from the Czech Republic’s Skoda — one of the world’s oldest car manufacturers — comes the Vision E. Although Skoda claims it’s “driven by positive energy,” the Vision E is its first all-electric vehicle and mostly runs on vapourware. From its evil “Tron” face to its bulbous rump, the Vision E is the Pontiac Aztek of the future.
SUZUKI JIMNY
This poor little orphan looks like a throwback to a bygone era. So homely it’s almost cute, the Suzuki Jimny has beam axles front and back — a veritable Jack-inthe-Box on wheels. Powered by a 1.3-litre engine producing a paltry 84 horsepower, the Jimny boasts a glacial zero-to-100 km/h time of 17 seconds when equipped with the four-speed automatic. The interior is a dour mix of cheap plastics and rubber knobs, and looks like it could have been swiped verbatim from a 1990 Swift.