Not just horsing around
Equine therapy is getting serious results for many — from executives to children
A former fashion executive recently told me about the wonders of equine therapy. She brought a skeptical group of French executives to a California ranch to meet with Koelle Simpson and her trusty steeds. Tasked with coercing the thousand-pound animals to do their bidding, the executives found they couldn’t use physical or verbal force. Instead, they used their own calm confidence to lead a horse their way.
The point of these workshops, she said, is to demonstrate that effective leadership doesn’t come from an angry email or barking orders on a conference call. Instead, there’s a quiet magnetism that comes from within: a powerful sense of self that draws horses — and people — in.
The perspective flip seemed like an interesting exercise for stubborn executives, but I wondered if there were parallels in our dating habits and the people we draw in to our orbit. Even though communication is a two-way street, we often blame ourselves for misfires: Did I phrase that text right? Did I give the impression that I wasn’t interested? Or did I seem too interested?
But what if the answer is to turn your internal mirror to something … four-legged?
“Horses have always shown me that we’re working with the relationship we’re having with ourselves, first and foremost,” Simpson said. “It’s a ripple effect. When someone comes to a session, the horse begins to reflect back areas where we’re not trusting ourselves and not connecting with our own needs. Sometimes we’re conscious of them, but many times we’re not.”
Working with horses creates non-verbal communication skills that can then be implemented into everyday life. It’s bringing ability to connect through presence and amenability to your next first date or interview that makes equine coaches claim this is powerful stuff.
In 2006, Simpson founded her Koelle Institute for Equus Coaching in San Luis Obispo, Calif., where she’s an equine therapist and life coach. She also travels around the world to teach her methods to executives, individuals and equus coaches-in-training. While work retreats are common for Simpson, she says singles and couples also come to her seeking a restoration of faith.
Communicating with a horse, Simpson says, can help expose those inner demons that cause our defences to be up when encountering the unknown, such as a first date.
“When we have an environment like we do with horses, where it’s not a human being and you take the idea that this person … doesn’t like me … out of the picture, you’re left with an animal who doesn’t have a story about you — and they want to connect,” she said. “Horses … are sensitive to the energy we express and how we conduct ourselves. That comes from our emotional state.”
Horses are incredibly aware of their interactions and surroundings, says Josh Schubert, a Virginian counsellor who hosts an equine therapy Podcast.
“Horses are so big and powerful, you can’t force them to do something. If you want to communicate with them, you need to be empathetic and see things from their point of view. Horses will let you be next to them freely if you have a certain energy level. You need to be calm and focused on the here and now — you need to be present with them,” he said. “The goal is that if you’re going to have a good relationship with other people, you have to have control and be aware of yourself and your energy levels. It trains you in those ways. It allows you to have those better connections and relationships with people.”
As academia gets more interested in equine therapy, we’re discovering additional tangible results, Schubert says. A recent study found riding horses and learning to read their vibrations increased children’s ability to use self-control in social situations. Another study showed upticks in “trust and general life satisfaction” in at-risk subjects who partook in weekly sessions over seven months.
That increased self-awareness and control is transferable.
“Most people walk around in a state of fear with their nervous systems activated, and horses are so present that they mirror what we’re communicating nonverbally,” said Diane Hunter, an equus and life coach in Los Gatos, Calif. “In the equine world, the horse is a reflection of what state of being you are. Your first impression should show you more about yourself.”
What makes for a bad first impression?
“With a horse, if I’m showing up to the relationship and not feeling very confident, it’s like thinking I’m unworthy of someone’s attention or insecure,” Hunter said. “If I see that in a client, I ask them: ‘ What do you value in yourself that you love?’ And when they connect with that, they connect with their heart.”