MEASHA LAID BARE
Opera singer speaks with Peter Hum about the candid new memoir that embraces the best and worst of her life.
Canadian opera singer Measha Brueggergosman says her just-released memoir falls short of a tell-all. “It’s not like I gave everything away,” the star soprano says. “I still have plenty of secrets for myself.”
That said, Something Is Always On Fire, definitely delves into the guts of the world-class vocalist’s life, from her brushes with death to miscarriages to her struggle with obesity, from faith and family to food and yoga to sex and infidelity.
“You can’t be much more honest than I was while writing the book,” says the Fredericton, N.B.-born Brueggergosman, who turned 40 this summer.
She also writes about music, and about singing opera, and compellingly so.
Brueggergosman discusses the story behind her memoir with the same exuberance that she brought to its pages.
Q What prompted you to write this book?
A I knew that a lot had happened so far and I wanted to document it
... I knew I had one book and one book only in me … I don’t know if 20 years from now, I would remember what the first 40 years were like. I hope I live a life that’s exciting enough that I’ll get to my 60s and not remember anything … this book is really about being 39 and coming to yet another cliff that we’re required to jump off and hope for the best. I guess I’m just writing a book that encourages people to embrace the worst and enjoy the best.
Q How hard or easy or fun was it to write your memoir?
A Writing, especially if it’s something personal, usually ends up being quite cathartic ... there was a lot of crying, I’m not going to lie. Because there are some things you have left as open wounds and you go back to talk about them, and the healing has its process to go through. So there were parts that were really painful. And there were times I laughed out loud remembering my account of how some things went down.
I didn’t end up picking the prettiest parts, but that isn’t the most interesting part anyway. The parts between the pretty parts are what make up a life.
Q What have you learned by writing this book?
A I’ve learned that there’s no miracle without the misery. If you want to be blessed you have to take the responsibilities that come along with that blessing. If you want to have a job, you have to get up and go to it. If you want to have kids, you have to acknowledge that they’re going to be completely dependent on you. If you want to be ushered into the hall of greatness, you have to go through a really long tunnel of haters. That’s kind of how you know you’re on the right track.
Q Tell me about the title’s significance.
A I thought it best encapsulated what my life actually is. I also know I’m not the only one that feels that way. If it’s not your relationship, it’s your finances, if it’s not your finances, it’s your career. If it’s not your career, the lawn needs to be mowed ...
I just wanted to illustrate that we shouldn’t be trying to make our lives homogeneous. And we shouldn’t be made to feel guilty ... whenever we don’t like something and wish we could go back and rethink this whole parenting thing or want to leave our jobs or our marriages.
The book was a kind of invocation, to whoever reads it, that as flawed as my life has been, there has been real accomplishment … And I get it all done, despite the fact that everything is on fire.
Q What’s on fire right now?
A My son has school pictures tomorrow … I left him and his brother with Daddy. I did get their hair cut, so I know their school pictures are going to be fine. My car is being serviced and haven’t opened the email from my mechanic because I’m bracing myself for a bill that I can’t pay.
Q What topic for you was the hardest to write about?
A By far it was the infidelity. The fact that I consistently stepped out on my marriage. I was growing up, I was building a career, I was not a virgin anymore. It was like a very whirlwind-y time. Now that I think back on it, at the time it was just my life.
Q Who is this book for?
A I was writing something that I knew one day would be read by my sons. When it came time to decide what would go in the book, you’re between your parents who raised you to tell the truth, but who also taught you the value of an artful lie, versus your sons, who will want to know how Momma ended up how she is, or what she went through.
Also (the book is for) the yogi out there, the Christians out there, the opera singers there, the people who are just trying to make things work and wondering if there is one way to do anything. There is no one way to do anything.
As I stumble into places, as I imperfectly get from point A to point B, tripping and lighting things on fire, not on time, with back taxes and without any sense of if it’s all going to work or not, I’m still having a blast. And people still like to spend time with me, and that, for me, is the measure of my life.