Attitude is a powerful mental tool

Last year, a child was born in England with her heart outside her body; a rare condition known as ectopia cordis. Few babies with it survive, and those who do endure numerous operations and are likely to have complex needs.

When her mother was interviewed three weeks after her daughter’s birth, she was asked if she was prepared for the task caring for her. She answered without hesitation that it would be a “privilege.”

Rarely has there been a better example of positive attitude, one of our most powerful psychological tools. Our attitudes allow us to turn mistakes into opportunities, loss into the chance for new beginnings.

An attitude is a way of thinking, feeling and/or behaving toward objects, people, events or ideologies. We use our attitudes to filter, interpret and react to the world around us. We’re not born with attitudes. They’re learned, and this happens in a number of ways.

The most powerful influences occur during childhood and include what happened to you directly and what those around you did and said in your presence. As you acquire an increasingly nuanced identity, your attitudes are refined by the deportment of those you identify with — your family, gender, culture and people you admire, even though you may not know them personally. Friendships become increasingly important, especially in adolescence.

Throughout adulthood, the information you receive — especially when ideas are repeated in association with goals you find attractive — also refines your attitudes.

Many people assume the way we feel about someone or something predicts the behaviour toward them. But Harris Chaiklin at the University of Maryland has looked at many studies on internally consistent behaviours and found that feelings don’t necessarily predict behaviour.

In general, your attitudes will be internally consistent only when the behaviour is easy, and when those around you hold similar beliefs.

One of the most effective ways to change an attitude is to start behaving as if you already feel the way you’d prefer to. Is there anything you consider a burden rather than a privilege? If so, start behaving as if the opposite is the case.