CHANGE FOR THE BETTER
Singer beats his demons
Embracing sobriety for seven years was a life changing experience for Sean McCann.
McCann, a founding member of the folk rock band Great Big Sea, left the band to focus on his recovery from addiction and sexual abuse. He has transformed his life and his career and is currently in the midst of a 29-city Canadian tour.
McCann, who turned 51 on May 22, recently took some time to talk about his alcoholism, his abuse as a teenager at the hands of a Catholic priest, his music, and his role as a mental-health advocate.
Q How has the new music from There’s A Place been received so far?
A Very well, I must say. It’s been a continuation for me, because this journey started with Help Your Self, which I put out in early 2014. I had no real intention of touring. It was a means for me to cope with my own addiction issues and my truth .... And then I found myself out on the road in earnest, and I love playing the smaller venues, the 200-seaters where people are really close to you. But you have to have something to say that’s worth saying .... In general, the album is about finding your place in the world today, which is more challenging than it’s ever been. This record is about establishing your sense of place, where you belong in the world.
Q Is it correct to say the album is full of songs of hope and optimism?
A Absolutely. The search for our place is important. That’s the journey we must put ourselves on. But as a person who has overcome an addiction — I’ve been sober for seven years — I know we’re stronger than we think. I try to tell people all the time, ‘Live is worth living and it’s worth being awake for.’ You don’t want to miss this because of a bottle of scotch or because of drugs. There will be hardships, but you can deal with it. So yes, my music is positive. I live in a positive space, I’m a survivor.
... It’s the best version of myself that you’ll ever find when you see me onstage where I can share my truth and songs.
Q Confiding in family or friends is tough enough. How did you find the power to speak publicly about such personal things?
A Truth is literally something people will kill themselves to avoid. We’re so afraid of the truth. I was so afraid of it. I was abused as a kid when I was 15 by a Catholic priest and that was something I wanted to keep secret. I carried it around for 35 years and it almost killed me because I was afraid to deal with that truth. I just didn’t want it in my life. The result of not dealing with the truth and acknowledging the truth is addiction — people take drugs for a reason. There’s great power in sharing your truth with people, especially when they need to hear it, and when they can benefit from that. It helps me, because every time I share my secret, I kick its ass. My past ceases to be a prison and I’m in control of my life again. I have myself back.
Q You’re busy with both music and speaking engagements. How do they differ for you?
A Well, if it’s a speaking engagement I’ll speak a lot and sing half a dozen songs. At a show I’ll bring my guitar, sing about 20 songs, and say some stuff.
Q You use the phrase, “You’re not alone.” It’s very simple, yet so powerful.
A When I sobered up, I lost all my friends, which typically happens. I didn’t have any sober friends. All my friends were pretty big drinkers and drug users. I had loads of acquaintances, but when the liquor was gone, they were gone, too, and I felt so alone. I really struggled. The first year was brutal. After three months, I started to have nightmares about what that priest did to me. All that came back and all I wanted to do was drink, because it kept that secret down. I was alone, except for my wife and kids, and the pain came back. I remember one day, I bought a bottle of scotch, I think it was around the third month, and I just stared at that bottle. I knew I would lose everything if I drank it, my wife had given the ultimatum, for sure. After about an hour of staring at the bottle, my guitar, Old Brown, was hung on the wall about 20 feet away. The bottle went out of focus and the guitar came in focus. I slowly walked over, picked up the guitar and poured my heart into that guitar and I wrote my first song sober. It just happened to be a song called Stronger. That song really saved my life. It made me realize that I wasn’t alone. As a result of that song, that guitar gave me the freedom not to drink that day. It’s one day at a time, so the next day I picked up the guitar again and started working on another a song, a song that told the truth. I wasn’t alone. I had the guitar and I had the music. I put those songs out on Help Your Self and those songs resonated in a meaningful way. Thousands of people sent me messages and emails and they all said the same thing — ‘I know that song.’ It made me realize that I wasn’t alone. I had learned a huge lesson, and without that lesson, I don’t think I’d still be sober. That’s a huge mistake that addicts make — we believe we’re alone when we’re not. There are friends out there for everyone, but in your darkest times, you don’t feel that way.