A Family Outing, by Ruby Remenda Swanson.
In 2002, my 16-year-old son called to say he had to talk to me after school. My life changed two hours later when he came to my office, closed the door and with his hand still on the doorknob said, “I’m gay.”
Despite my initial reaction of shock, fear, hiding and denial, I soon became a public advocate for equality and acceptance of the LGBT community. A Family Outing is a story about how my life took a completely unexpected turn after learning I had a gay son and how the same-sex marriage debate in Canada in 2005 catapulted me into activism.
When my son came out, I looked for a book that could help me cope with the news and provide me with encouragement. The few books that existed on this topic dealt mainly with tragic episodes of hopelessness and despair, but not all gay kids and their families experience these ex- tremes.
A Family Outing tells the story of how our supportive family and community learned about issues affecting gay people. I describe what it was like to hear my child tell me he was gay and how I responded the first time I saw him kissing his boyfriend. I address the deeply homophobic time in which baby boomers like myself grew up, the subsequent emergence of the gay rights movement and how the AIDS epidemic transformed the LGBT landscape in North America.
It’s a story about discovering our families’ gay great-uncles and learning about their lives, about operating the spotlight at a drag queen show and marching in Pride Parades.
I came to understand that in reality only one aspect of my son’s per- sonal life is different than what I had assumed was the case.
My wish is that everyone who struggles with similar fears can address those fears and meet them head on while holding their children and telling them that they are loved.
Ruby Remenda Swanson was born and raised in Humboldt. She is currently general manager of the University of Alberta Botanic Garden in Edmonton. Ruby was a longtime director of Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Edmonton and is a recipient of the University of Alberta Human Rights Education Recognition Award.
Her book is available at Mcnally Robinson, Chapters/indigo, through her website www.afamilyouting.com and on Amazon.ca.