WHY SETTLE FOR AVERAGE SEX?

Given that millennials invented Tinder and Deliveroo, you’d think we’d have managed to work out how to have decent sex by now.

Apparently not. Research from Britain’s Office for National Statistics (ONS) says that 49 per cent of those born between the early ’80 and late ’90s “lack sexual enjoyment.”

Perhaps it’s our living arrangements. Unable to buy, we’ve moved back in with Mom and Dad, creating a moderately resentful family commune that doesn’t do your sex life any favours. No one wants a night of passion set to the soundtrack of Dad’s sleep apnea, and you haven’t known true shame until you’ve been made breakfast by your one-nightstand’s mother.

Almost as bad as sex under your parents’ roof is sex in a house share, with thin walls and lock-free doors. A friend was once interrupted midcoitus by her beau’s housemate opening the door to say, “I have to get up at 6 a.m. so you need to finish faster.” There’s also the porn issue. We millennials have had access to it since we were teens. The first time my friends and I saw hardcore porn, we were 12, and in the IT room.

A study by Middlesex University found that 94 per cent of children have seen porn by age 14.

It’s no surprise, then, that the charm of falling into bed with someone, and seeing their naked body, feels a bit flat if you’ve been able to watch orgies on demand.

That said, I can’t help wondering if the real issue isn’t that we’re having worse sex, but that we’re less easily satisfied.

We’re known as Generation Whine, who want everything on our own terms. Perhaps we’ve extended that attitude to our sex lives — expecting “good” not just to mean OK, but mutually gratifying, with orgasms all around. If that’s the case, then for once I’m proud of my generation: why should we settle for average?