ASK ELLIE
Q Why are some guys such jerks? I met this guy in a coffee lineup in my neighbourhood. He walked me home and asked if we could meet for our coffee the next day. I said, sure. Once seated, he asked me nothing about myself but raved on about the great company he’d started with his friend. They just needed some promotion and, they’d be “making a fortune.” I got it. Since I work for a large public relations firm, this guy had obviously scouted me. I said he’d have to seek promotion elsewhere, because I disliked his unprofessionalism, and I left. Fed Up with Users/jerks
A Yes, he’s a jerk, but there’s no one gender that uses people for covert purposes. It’s up to everyone else (including you and me) to be alert and recognize any signals that all that’s being said or presented aren’t what you expect or want. Q A male relative who’s been showing increased confusion is being hounded by a woman whom we’re convinced is after his house, money and valuable collections. He was in the art business, but retreated from social and business life a decade ago and moved to a remote location in the Far East. Close family tried to stay in touch but he often didn’t respond or he’d sent a brief
message that he’s “fine.” The sibling, who finally visited him unannounced, witnessed the constant visits of a woman who claimed they were “best friends,” though our relative seemed vague about it. The sibling recognized that his brother was confused and got him onto a plane for a physical and mental health assessment back home. His brother willingly accepted all that and also gave his several siblings the joint Power of Attorney (POA) over his estate and major health decisions. He’s since been diagnosed with early dementia. Meanwhile, this woman has arrived in the same city, told the private retirement home where he’s staying that she’s his “girlfriend” and stays there all day in his room. Worried Relatives
A Your family needs help from a lawyer(s) experienced in estate planning, POA’S, and elder law.
While this woman may actually be kind to your relative and provide him with company, the issue of his money is very important now while he’s living.
Residing in a retirement home is expensive. Fortunately, this man’s financial situation may afford it.
However, if the woman’s interest is mostly for his money, some legal action needs to be taken to avoid her claiming to be his common-law spouse.
The siblings should see their lawyer immediately, inform the retirement home of their concerns, and also hire a part-time caregiver to replace this woman, to greatly reduce her visiting role.
If investigation reveals that the woman IS only there to scam for his money, her visits should be refused under instruction to the home through the legal firm.