bed days


What were my mom’s pain days like? Were they all of them? She didn’t have weed, friends, a ther­a­pist, yoga, baths, Vi­codin, T-3s, com­mu­nity acupunc­ture, fra­grance-free or turmeric. She had wine, si­lence and a gar­den. She had hid­den. Some­times I lie in bed on a pain day with my sick and dis­abled friends a fin­ger swipe away, my twin canes, my part­ner who loves me, my good bed, my net­tles and my deep breaths, and still the pain in my knees and legs lives and shouts fire, and I won­der if my dis­abil­ity is me feel­ing all the pain my mom never had a chance to feel fi­nally safe enough to come home and talk to me.

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