Demands of married life
Dear Annie: Is there any end to it? I am 68 and have been married for 44 years. My husband and I both have some health issues, but he still needs sex, or he becomes depressed and can’t seem to function. My husband is also addicted to pornography and has been his whole adult life. I’ve looked the other way on this vice because he is otherwise a wonderful husband and father.
I just don’t feel like feeding his sex fantasies at this stage of our marriage. Not to mention, Viagra is an expensive pill and has some side effects. I would like honest answers from other senior citizens in their late 60s and early 70s.
What should I do? I’ve thought about ending the marriage and letting him find a younger gal. I know that’s what some men need and want. — Had Enough, Thanks
Dear Had Enough: Are you talking about any type of sex or about indulging in odd sexual fantasies fed by his porn addiction? If the latter, you are under no obligation to do things that make you uncomfortable or unhappy just to pander to his bizarre fantasy life. Get some counselling, with or without him, and decide what you need to do for yourself.
But if you are talking about healthy, normal sexual relations, we can tell you that most men are not willing to give it up simply because their wives are no longer interested. Your libido may have disappeared, but his hasn’t.
Some men handle this by going without and being unhappy. Some have affairs. Some masturbate. Some turn to prostitutes. Some leave their wives. Some women take hormones to maintain their libido, some decide to have sex now and then, and others simply don’t care how their husbands feel — they are done.
Marriage requires compromise. One partner should not be miserable all the time so that the other can be content. And there is no expiration date on that.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “B” about her aggravation with unsolicited phone calls from “Rachel from Cardholder Services.” I, too, find these calls very annoying. And they keep calling over and over again. I’ve resorted to yelling in their ear, hoping they will finally take me off their list.
Consumers Union recently started a campaign to stop robocalls. There is information online, along with a petition at EndRoboCalls.org, which is part of Consumers Union. . — No More Robocalls, Please
Dear No More: Thank you so much for providing this information for our readers. Consumers Union is the policy and action division of Consumer Reports. It works to pass consumer protection laws in states and in Congress. We hope our readers will go online and check it out. You are right that a single voice crying in the wilderness is difficult to hear, but thousands of voices can have a genuine impact. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write
to Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa
Beach, CA 90254.