She’s using ex to make him pay

Dear Annie: My daughter is living with her exhusband, she says, for the sake of their child. They divorced because he cheated on her, and they argue about it in front of my granddaughter. Her ex has agreed to put his life on hold, probably out of guilt. I think he is a saint to put up with this situation.

How do I tell my daughter that it would be healthier for her to shed the victim role and move on?

How can two parents living in the same home but not speaking to each other be a healthy thing for my grandchild?

I think my daughter is just doing this to make her ex pay for cheating on her. I have never shared my feelings on this with her. What can I do? Dear Mom: Perhaps your daughter would consider family counselling for her child’s sake. A counsellor can help her work through her anger and find ways to move forward. In the meantime, Mom, please be a safe haven and listening post for your granddaughter. She will need you. Dear Annie: My husband’s family calls often to invite him for dinner because they are serving something they know he likes. However, I am never invited. I get along well with his family and feel hurt that I am not included. Am I being childish and over-sensitive, or is this rude? Dear Wife: It’s rude, but it’s possible they think you aren’t interested. It is OK for married children to spend time with the folks, without their spouses, but it shouldn’t happen so often that it causes resentment. Your husband should have had the sense to bring you along. Next time they call with a dinner invite, say into the phone, “Oh, that sounds great! Can I come, too?’ ”