Traditional mourning process upset when it becomes public

When someone dies, the family withdraws and mourns privately. When the mourning becomes public, the family must be protected and allowed to complete the mourning process.

First Nations culture and traditions go back centuries, with a long history of how we treat each other and show respect for the spirits. When every so often this comes to the surface, the news media and public are confused and fail to understand what is happening.

The tragic killing of Colten Boushie brought this divide out into the open.

Media were speculating that there was a chance there would be violence at the courthouse “demonstration” in North Battleford. They raised the spectre of demonstrators getting out of hand, with a confrontation with the RCMP, local farmers or something else.

As it turned out the RCMP had concerns too, but they were worried that some white supremacists would show up. So police placed some officers on top of a nearby building. They also videoed the demonstration in case there was any interference. The RCMP has a strong aboriginal component, and I’m sure they rely on their expertise during times like this.

The fact is that our people have respect for the family in mourning. When someone dies, the family withdraws and mourns privately. Care must be taken so the spirit has the freedom to make the journey to the next world, with as little interference as possible. When death is accompanied by controversy and the mourning becomes public, the family must be protected and allowed to complete the mourning process.

It would be a major disgrace to disrespect a family during this sensitive time. Therefore our people were very protective of the family. While the event was called a demonstration in the media, the scene at the courthouse was a time to rally and support the family in its time of grief.

The funeral and the wake are a time to wish the spirit a safe journey to the next world. It is when you see a loved one for the last time in earthly form. The next time you meet, you both will be spirits.

There is no word for goodbye in Cree or any other First Nations language, as far as I know. We don’t have a concept of “goodbye.” We say, “I’ll see you,” or “moistuss,” which means “later.” Sometimes when you are talking to an older person on the phone, you may hear them hang up with no warning. It’s not that they’re mad; it’s just that they had no more to say.

So we don’t say goodbye at a funeral. We simply walk away and allow the spirit to leave on his or her journey. People shouldn’t name the individual; they will refer to the departed as “our dear mother” or “my poor friend,” and so on.

Public events such as a court hearing or an inquest require that the person’s name be said out aloud numerous times. People try to avoid this, and someone might be designated to attend and report back to the family. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s that they follow tradition and want the spirit to be free.

Mourning a person who has died requires special protocols: a feast is held to send the spirit on their journey; food will be placed in a sacred fire for the purpose; there should be nothing for the spirit to return to; the dead person’s worldly goods are all given away, allowing the spirit to move freely to the next world.

The family will go into mourning for a period of time, during which they will not dance or attend celebrations. After one year the family will hold a feast to remember the individual and pray for the spirit. An elder will call the individual back if they want to come. This feast is repeated over four years.

Once when I was driving in Northern Saskatchewan I came upon a young man who was walking down the highway, miles from nowhere. It turned out he was mourning his father, who had died a month earlier. He was walking and hitchhiking over the land where his father had lived and hunted, and he was also visiting relatives as part of a private pilgrimage to his father.

It turned out that he was right where he wanted to be, not miles from nowhere.

For First Nations people, mourning is an intensely personal experience. We believe that justice must be served, but also that the spirit of the departed deserves our respect.