A financial disaster in the making

Dear Annie: I have a boyfriend of one year, and we are considering marriage, but we are not officially engaged.

My problem is his sister, who lives in Paris. I’ve never seen or talked to “Amelie,” but have been told a lot about her. She has been in Paris for three years, but no one knows what she is doing there, since she has no job experience. All her expenses are paid by her parents, but sometimes she calls my boyfriend collect demanding money. He always gives it to her. He also sends her expensive gifts on holidays and birthdays.

My boyfriend doesn’t make a decent income, nor has he saved a lot. I want him to stop sending money to Amelie, but I don’t want to cause problems in their relationship. What should I do? Potential Sister-in-Law in Seoul Dear Seoul: At the moment, you have no say on what your boyfriend does about Amelie. It’s not your money. However, if you marry this man, it will become your problem. If he doesn’t make a decent living, doesn’t know how to save, likes to give generous gifts and is an easy mark for his freeloading sister, you are in for a lifetime of financial difficulty. Here’s our advice: Do not marry him unless he learns to be more responsible. Dear Annie: My wife and I could have signed the letter from “At Wits’ End.” When we discovered our daughter was using cocaine, we decided we had no choice. We either could find and pay for residential treatment, or pay for a funeral.

I urge your reader to go online and search for this type of facility. This is a life-or-death situation. This course of action is expensive (we mortgaged our house), but is a much easier sacrifice than attending her funeral.