Daughter-in-law a bit too doting

Dear Annie: I have been dating “Joe” for two years. We both are in our mid-60s and lost our spouses many years ago.

We have a great deal of fun together, but I have a problem with Joe’s daughter-in-law, “Lorna.” On our first date, Joe told me he “fell in love with Lorna the first time he saw her.” I assumed he meant she was a wonderful person, but now I’m not so sure. She calls him “Dad,” which is fine, but she is all over him — even when I’m around. She whispers in his ear, sits on his lap and rubs his shoulders. I feel as if I’m competing with her.

Lorna and her husband live just down the road from Joe, and he goes to their home every night to help with the chores, since his son travels frequently. I always wonder deep down what really goes on in that house.

I have never seen a daughterin-law act the way she does. I want to tell this to Joe, but I’m afraid I’ll lose him if I say anything negative about Lorna. He thinks she walks on water. What am I to do? Confused in Iowa Dear Confused: This could be harmless flirting, in which case, leave it alone. Joe gets a kick out of it, and Lorna uses that. However, you are part of Joe’s life and should not feel as if you are competing with another woman. Tell Joe that you think Lorna is terrific, but you wonder if she is jealous, since she seems so possessive when you are around. Bringing it out into the open should help clarify things. Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Unsure in New York,” whose boyfriend’s political views were the polar opposite of hers. You said it didn’t have to be a big deal.

I believe that one’s political views are deep-rooted, core values and often are linked to one’s religious beliefs. She needs to carefully evaluate this relationship. Have they discussed how their children will be raised? Will he want a gun in their household? Will he agree to termination of a pregnancy in a medical necessity? If he is directly attacking her beliefs, this is more than just political debate. A man who truly loves and respects her wouldn’t belittle or degrade her because of her opinions on ANY issue. Hoping She Opens Her Eyes Dear Hoping: You’ve made some good points, but we still don’t think politics needs to be the determining factor in a relationship. Read on for more: From Louisville, Ky.: My wife is a committed Republican. I’m a committed Democrat. We’ve had some heated arguments, but neither one of us is going to change our politics. I love her, she loves me. We agree to disagree. My father-in-law accepts that I am a Democrat — he thinks I’m otherwise a good guy and warmhearted. Besides, he knows his daughter’s votes cancel mine.