A tale of two species, different yet so similar

Grade 9 students in the Collective Voice program at Aden Bowman Collegiate share their lives and opinions through columns. Selected columns run each Monday in The Saskatoon StarPhoenix.

SCENE 1

(ADULT and TEENAGER find themselves in a situation where they must converse)

ADULT: So … how’s school? (To self ) Why did I ask that? Now they’re just going to think I’m some lame adult!

TEENAGER: (To self ) How do I answer that? Is there a wrong answer? Am I allowed to have an opinion? What do I say?

Awkward pause.

TEENAGER: Um, it’s okay. (To self ) Why did I say that? Now they’re just going to think I’m some dumb kid.

ADULT & TEENAGER: (To selves) I’m such an idiot!

END OF SCENE.

This scene plays itself out every day, all over the world, when these two species come into contact. I have experienced this personally with my first job, where I am forced to talk to adults. There’s little me in my brand new uniform, standing behind the counter. An adult approaches with nowhere else to go but to me. What do I do?

My hands are shaking and my throat is constricted with fear. What do I say? What if he orders something I don’t know? What if I spill something? Ohgodohgodohgod. Here he comes. “Hi what can I get for you?” “Pardon?”

What does he mean, “pardon?” What did I do wrong?

“What can I get for you?” I say, louder this time.

Oh no, that sounded rude. Do something! Call him Sir! “… Sir ... “

Why did I do that?

I can only imagine what he’s thinking at this point. ‘Why did she call me sir?

I just want a soda, what’s wrong with this kid? Please don’t cry ...’

I try not to cry as I hand him his drink. “Enjoy the game.”

“Pardon?”

Being a teenager is already an awkward phase of life. Add the fear of being judged, and uncertainty in every word you say, and now you’re coming off as rude and sarcastic.

After talking to my parents about scenarios like the one above, I learned that adults feel the same way about teens. We talk about things they don’t understand and use words in ways that don’t make sense to them. They end up feeling old and out of touch and judged for being “uncool.” (Word to adults: usage of the word “uncool” is in itself uncool).

With a little insight into how we feel about each other, we can see that these two distinct groups are quite similar. Adults don’t want to come off as lame or outdated, and teenagers don’t want to come off as dumb and childish.

Awkwardness and uncertainty often are misinterpreted as sarcasm or indifference, while a sense of inferiority can seem like impatience.

So how do we bridge the gap between these two distinct species?

Be patient with one another’s awkwardness. Smile more. Practise, practise, practise.

And remember, they’re probably more afraid of you than you are of them.