Warning: Columnist may be completely off his rocker
The Saskatchewan Roughriders could use a starting tailback who cuts like a knife.
Roughriders devotees, for their part, need something to believe in after 21/2 seasons of futility.
A 10-35 skid, not even remotely reminiscent of Roughriders’ fortunes during the summer of ’69, has prompted a steady stream of anguished comments, which are straight from the heart.
A turnaround would create an environment whereby all the detractors disappear, and it’s only love.
Please forgive me for excerpting all these Bryan Adams lyrics. Long-suffering readers may lament “I thought I’d seen everything” when it comes to tacky columns, but this one descends to the bottom of the charts, beneath Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
It wouldn’t be the first time things have gone astray.
Here I am, beating an alleged joke into submission. It is reckless, admittedly, but I can’t stop this thing we’ve started.
Oh, we’ll see it through.
You know it’s true. Everything I do, I do it for ... “CUT!”
(INTERMISSION. Cue elevator music. Paging human resources!) Profuse apologies — and a sincere welcome — to the great Bryan Adams, the headliner for Saturday’s test event at the new Mosaic Stadium.
There once was a time when Rock and Roell at Regina’s expansive football stadium was provided by the Preston brothers. (And let’s not forget Rock Perdoni.)
Rock and Roell Preston arrived — and departed — in 2001. That was Year 2 of the Roughriders’ new regime, which was led by general manager Roy Shivers and head coach Danny Barrett.
Shivers and Barrett inherited a three-win team and, in Year 1, improved the victory total to five while overhauling the roster — an often-ruthless process that resulted in several popular veterans losing their jobs.
By 2001, many of the requisite pieces were in place. There was, however, one nagging question: Who will play quarterback?
Henry Burris, after throwing 30 touchdown passes in 2000, signed with the NFL’s Green Bay Packers. A cavernous void was created. Fast-forward to 2017.
The Roughriders’ current regime — led by head coach, general manager and vice-president of football operations Chris Jones — is entering Year 2 after producing five victories.
Jones, à la Shivers and Barrett, took over a team that won a mere three games while enduring a nine-game losing streak. (The 1999 Roughriders lost their final nine games. The 2015 edition started off at 0-9. Does that look like a bad run to you?)
The parallels between 2001 and 2017 extend to the quarterbacking. Post-Burris, uncertainty reigned. This time, the Roughriders are attempting to replace Darian Durant, who was traded to the Montreal Alouettes in January.
And, once again, the Roughriders are hoping that Kevin Glenn will be part of the solution.
Glenn was a rookie in 2001, when Marvin Graves began the season as Saskatchewan’s starting quarterback.
Graves and the Roughriders enjoyed a night to remember to open the 2001 campaign, registering a 30-28 comeback victory over the visiting Hamilton TigerCats.
Glenn and the long-gone Curtis Marsh collaborated on a pair of fourth-quarter touchdown passes, but the best was yet to come.
With three seconds left in the fourth quarter, Paul McCallum kicked a game-winning, 40-yard field goal.
The implosion did not please then-Hamilton head coach Ron Lancaster, a Roughriders icon who owns many records. (Today’s Tiger-Cats are coached by Kent Austin, another legendary Saskatchewan quarterback.)
As it turned out, the fans’ affection for the 2001 Roughriders was a one-night love affair.
Graves was eventually replaced as the starting quarterback, with Glenn and Keith Smith calling signals the rest of the way during a six-win season.
Glenn is now a three-time Roughrider — theme: Back To You — having signed with the Green and White shortly after Durant was sent east.
Nearing 38, Glenn is likely the Roughriders’ best option at quarterback.
The most ballyhooed signalcaller at training camp, however, will be 34-year-old Vince Young. The former NCAA and NFL star’s last-chance comeback will be the subject of constant scrutiny, beginning Sunday when the Roughriders hold their first workout in Saskatoon.
With Adams performing in Regina on Saturday, mere hours before Glenn and Young begin slinging passes for the 2017 Roughriders, there should be plenty of oldies to enjoy this weekend.
Not to be forgotten are the Roughriders’ three younger pivots.
Brandon Bridge, like Adams, provides Canadian content.
Two Americans, Bryan Bennett and Maty Mauk, will also be thrown into the fire.
Jones and company need somebody — somebody like You(ng), Glenn, Bridge, Bennett or Mauk — to step up and provide playoff-calibre quarterbacking.
Failing that, there could be yet another comparison to Adams — Joe (747) Adams — as the Roughriders go nowhere fast.