Silence not always golden

This column was originally published in 2012.

Dear Annie: I am an 18-year-old guy, and my parents are splitting up. I don’t know the full story, but things are getting somewhat awkward around the house. We try to live normally, but the silence hurts. I’m trying to deal with it and put up a good front until graduation, but it’s hard.

I’ve heard it’s always worse before it gets better, but it seems that there is no end to the silence.

How do I associate with both of my parents and not have any “divorce talk?” — Tom Dear Tom: Your parents may believe they are making it easier for you by not discussing the situation. Or they may fear that talking about it will create a cascade of bitter words, arguing and crying, and they are hoping to spare you. But you need to talk to someone. It would help enormously. Maybe a favourite teacher or friend’s parent?

Dear Annie: I’ve been dating “Ben” for five years, and I consider it a serious relationship. We see each other often and are in touch by phone daily.

Ben likes to ride his motorcycle and frequently stays out quite late on Saturday nights. I often

don’t figure this out until 9 p.m. or later, when he hasn’t returned any calls or texts. He claims he doesn’t hear the phone while riding, which I understand, but why can’t he return my call when he takes a break? He doesn’t seem to care that I sit home alone on a Saturday night because it’s too late to make other arrangements.

I’ve talked to him about it, but it makes no difference. I admit that it wouldn’t bother me as much if he did this on Monday nights. Am I overreacting? — An Avid Reader

Dear Avid: If you have no definite plans with him, arrange to do something with your friends on Saturday nights. It will keep you occupied, and Ben will probably find you much more interesting if you aren’t waiting around for him. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.