Moviegoers learn the hard way to skip the box office

Have you ever noticed that sentences beginning with “For your convenience” aren’t convenient at all?

For your convenience, we no longer take cash.

For your convenience, winter will be extended three months this year.

For your convenience, all flights will now be overbooked.

For your convenience, yesterday’s headache will be held over to Friday.

I made those up, but the next one is real: “For your convenience, tickets may now be purchased at any of the food outlets located in our traditional theatre or from the VIP concession counter in addition to our Automated Ticket Kiosks.”

That was the sign I encountered on a busy Saturday in April when I went to a movie at the former Galaxy Cinemas downtown. The notice was posted at the box office, which was roped off because there was nobody staffing the box office. I’d never seen that before.

When I was young and going to silent movies, there was always somebody at the box office. If it wasn’t particularly busy, what you had instead of a busy cashier was a bored one. But they were still there. When I returned on June 19, the box office was again closed. This time, there was an assortment of tables and chairs set up in front of it.

It looked to me like the theatre was phasing out the box office. I checked with Cineplex head office and got this response from a spokeswoman:

“I made some inquiries and I am not sure why that sign would have been up truthfully, as the box office at Scotiabank Theatre Saskatoon and VIP is open. I learned that there are times over the course of any given day when visitation is lower (during a matinee for example), when we may route guests to other areas of the theatre to get tickets, but it wouldn’t be fair to say that it is closed. In these instances, guests at the theatre also purchase tickets online at Cineplex.com, through our Mobile App, at an ATK (Automated Ticket Kiosks), at the concession or in the VIP lounge area at the bar.”

So maybe it’s just a coincidence that I keep going to the theatre on the days when no one is staffing the box office. But, as the response above says, there are many more ways to buy movie tickets these days anyway. Indeed, I usually buy online to skip the box office.

But what happens if you don’t? You are funnelled to the concession stand, which is fine if you want to buy concessions. But if you just want a movie ticket, you might find the situation to be somewhat inconvenient.

I have an unofficial medical condition called queue-phobia.

Every time I get into a lineup, my breathing becomes shallow and my mood tanks. The symptoms worsen when every single person in front of me is buying popcorn for a family of nine. But maybe, by the time I get to the front, I’ll be hungry enough to buy snacks as well, even though I hadn’t intended to. If this isn’t part of Cineplex’s strategy, it should be.

If you’re not snacking, the only sure way to avoid popcorn purgatory is to buy your tickets in advance. And by doing so, you’ll be contributing to the obsolescence of the box office as we knew it.

It’s brilliant, really. Limit a service, forcing customers to use the alternative, then scrap the service because it’s underutilized.

Cineplex says they haven’t phased out their box office. But if they wanted to save money on cashiers, this would be a convenient way to do it.