Jealousy puts relationship in serious doubt

This column was originally published in 2012.

Dear Annie: I am 54, and my girlfriend is 40. We’ve dated on and off for seven years. I love her and I believe she loves me.

The problem is, she is incredibly jealous and believes every woman is attracted to me.

Even if that were true, I don’t want every woman.

My girlfriend is plenty of woman; I want only her. But the jealousy drives me crazy. I can’t go anywhere or do anything without her thinking another woman is involved.

Furthermore, she’s certain that I’m hot for my ex-wife.

My ex-wife and I are great friends, but not to the point of reconciling.

When my girlfriend has one of these jealous fits, she’s snide, snippy and just plain evil. We’re lucky if we can have three straight days of bliss.

Somehow she believes getting married will make things better. I think marriage would be a huge mistake considering our track record. We seem to be tearing our relationship to pieces. Please help.

Going in Circles in the Circle City Dear Circle: Is your girlfriend willing to get therapy and work on her out-of-control jealousy and insecurity? If not, you will continue to have conflict, whether married or not.

Relationships require trust and mutual respect, and yours doesn’t have either. We aren’t sure what you find so lovable about someone who becomes snide, snippy and evil every three days.

Only you can decide whether she’s worth the effort.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.