A TERRIFYING ASSIGNMENT
Reporter conquers his fears on the Ex midway
The Saskatoon Exhibition offers games, shows, food and more. But the main draw for many is the collection of carnival rides towering over Prairieland Park.
From the smallest Scrambler that spins you around in circles to the largest ferris wheels, rides at the Ex come in all shapes and sizes.
As a not-so-brave individual, each one is horrifying to me in its own way.
On one of my multiple days reporting for the StarPhoenix from the Exhibition this last week, I made a list of all the ones I found most terrifying.
The next day, I tried five: the Fire Ball (not the same as the one involved in the fatal incident in Ohio this summer), the Mach 3, the Zipper, the Mega Drop/Tower Shot (depending on who you ask), and the Vertigo swings.
These are all extremely innocuous names for some of the most terrifying contraptions ever built for the public.
I started off with the Fire Ball. Roller coasters shouldn’t go backwards, and this thing does. It was a rough way to begin.
The Zipper made me outright eager to vomit when I was finished, partly from the spinning and partly due to some head-rattling thanks to a small ride cage.
The drop tower was 30 seconds of suspense followed by about four seconds of sheer terror followed by two minutes of hysterical laughter.
The Vertigo swings, a much gentler ride, still made me want to puke.
The worst was the Mach 3. If I could combine all of the things that make rides a terror for me, they would culminate in the giant spinning arms and chairs of this ride. It was the second one I tried, and it almost made me pull the plug on the whole project.
Willpower and stubbornness prevailed in the end, but it will never, ever happen again.
To all of the ride aficionados out there who know there is an attraction called the Slingshot at the Ex that launches riders high into the sky on a metal death ball attached to bungee cords, I say this: no amount of money or willpower could get this reporter on that.
Incidentally, this whole thing was my idea. The intern got a little too clever for his own good.