Obesity debate rages on and on
This column was originally published in 2012.
Dear Annie: May I, a male in his 70s, respond to Bob, who said that aging, obese, snoring and unhealthy women are the reasons for bedroom problems? Perhaps in his home, but not in ours.
I can’t pinpoint when intimacy evolved into something deeper, but when I retired, I became so appreciative of this woman who, for more than 30 years, managed our home and family and always ensured that my life was as comfortable as possible. I show my love and thanks by having her coffee ready each morning and performing household labour. I don’t mind that her body has added weight (so has mine). I compliment her continuing beauty, magnificent heart and kindness to others. Kathy’s Grateful Husband
Dear Grateful: Bless your heart. We were overwhelmed with mail from men and women, agreeing and disagreeing with Bob. Read on:
From Kentucky: Bob is right. Men don’t look at obese women walking by. But you won’t see a woman taking a second look at an obese man, either. The majority of obese people have chosen that course by eating too much. Name Withheld: When I was 58, my wife decided that I should get my testosterone checked. I did — and happened to mention that my wife had put on an extra 50 pounds. Boy, did I get an earful on the way home. Women are wired differently. They equate sex with love. Most men feel that sex is a physical thing. All this, and I still love my wife very much.
Florida: Women of the world, please ignore this pathetic loser. This jerk is an embarrassment to all decent men. Plenty of men have beer bellies and think watching golf and NASCAR is exercise.
Greencastle, Pa.: I’m female and am repulsed by obese women. Recently, I watched a large friend eating ice cream. She doesn’t understand why she can’t get a man interested in her.
Boston: Bob left out the most important part. In the darkness of one’s bedroom, one can be in bed with a fantasy. But no amount of testosterone will make it any easier to kiss the lips that have been yelling at you all day long. California: I’m a 52-year-old man, married for 31 years. I enjoy talking to my wife on the phone, but lose my libido as soon as I see her. Men are visually stimulated. I have even searched dating sites looking for sex. Bob is correct: The women on the dating sites are single because they are fat. Ohio: A man marries a woman for two reasons: She knows how to treat a man and looks fine, and she is kind and courteous and knows her place.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.