Cancer survivor hopes to find surrogate
Couple have embryos ready for implant, but face strict laws on finding a carrier
Pam and Shawn McDonald bought their home in Martensville with the hope of filling the hallways with the pitter-patter of tiny feet — but it didn’t take long until their plans were turned upside down.
Having been together for more than three years before they got married in September 2015, the couple was focused on doing everything right before they tried for a baby. They saved up money for the essentials and bought a large home with a spacious backyard.
But a few months later, Pam learned she had cervical cancer. She was told she would have to start treatment as soon as possible, but that it would be a toss-up on whether she would be able to conceive afterwards.
“When I first went into treatment, they said there is a chance that you may ... still be able to have kids,” she said. “But the further down the road I got, the more they started saying, ‘There’s no chance of this. It’s going to be way too much of a risk for you.’ “
The pair’s decision to do a rushed cycle of in vitro fertilization and freeze the embryos before she began treatment is now their best hope to start a family — but they need to find a woman willing to carry a baby to term. They’ve exhausted their list of people they can ask, and under Canadian surrogacy laws the couple is unable to offer compensation or even advertise their search.
“The reasoning behind (the law) is well taken, in terms of not wanting to have any coercion involved,” said Dr. Donna Chizen, who has been seeing Pam as a patient and also acts as an associate professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Saskatchewan.
She said that if a woman was interested in becoming a surrogate or gestational carrier, she should get in contact with a physician to discuss the process, then that doctor could work with the woman to get the ball rolling.
“It’s unfathomable to have to go through all the stuff (Pam’s) gone through, with having a potentially life-threatening illness, getting over it and wanting to start a family, only to be stuck in this situation.”
Chizen said trying to find a gestational carrier through word of mouth is usually a last resort — this couldn’t be more true for Pam and Shawn, who aren’t originally from Saskatoon and don’t have a large network of friends in the area. They are losing hope that word of mouth will be enough.
They have the option to hire a matchmaking company to find a willing woman, but these services generally cost around $10,000. After factoring in the price of the IVF cycle, Pam said it’s just not a reasonable option.
The couple said adoption is an option in the future, but they want to completely exhaust all other options first. Having already been stripped of the opportunity to experience carrying her own child, Pam would be more than grateful to have someone willing to do it for her.
“You realize you would be lucky just to even have that opportunity to go to the appointments or be there during the birth,” Pam said. “That’s all experiences that I wouldn’t have been able to have, had we not gone through IVF. It sucks, but there is a silver lining that we even have that opportunity.”