Trust instincts, back off from older boyfriend

Dear Annie: I am a 17-year-old straight-A student and have sound judgment for most things, but I’m not sure about this.

I have started seeing “Michael,” a 25-year-old guy. I know it’s a big age difference, but everything else about our relationship is perfect. So far, we have only gone out to public places and for limited amounts of time. I feel like I am being smart about this, but if I look at the situation objectively, the age difference gives me pause.

My parents don’t know about my relationship with Michael, and I feel horrible hiding it. I have confided in one friend so that if I need her, she can pick me up and drive me home. I feel as if I am safe, but still, I don’t know what to do.

Should I tell Michael to wait until I am old enough for this to be appropriate? I don’t want him to find someone else and forget about me. I really like him, and I don’t want him to get into any legal trouble. What would you do if you really loved a guy in this situation?

Dear Lost: Here is what we get: You are hiding the relationship from your parents, you feel safe only because you are meeting in public places and have a friend to contact in case of emergency, and your gut is telling you this is not an appropriate relationship. We are strong believers in heeding your inner voice. It’s trying to tell you to back away.

Michael may be a great guy, and the age difference is not what counts here. It’s that you are 17, and your level of experience (in all areas) is limited. He is 25 and probably looking for something more serious than you are prepared for, and you shouldn’t be rushed. Not to mention, we worry about a 25-yearold who is romantically pursuing a high school student. Please confide in your parents, let them meet Michael in person, and then they can advise you.

Dear Annie: Please print this letter and remind people that if they walk out of a restaurant without paying the cheque, it is the server who suffers, not the restaurant. Also, the practice of dunning the wait staff for an unpaid bill is illegal in many places, but it happens anyway. My daughter suffered through it last night. Angry in Louisville, Ky.

Dear Angry: Thank you for the reminder.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.