Sui­cide leaves ex-wife dis­traught

Saskatoon StarPhoenix - - YOU - This column was orig­i­nally pub­lished in 2012.

Dear An­nie: Last May, my chil­dren’s fa­ther com­mit­ted sui­cide. He and I had split up two years be­fore be­cause of his vi­o­lent ways. De­spite my mar­ry­ing an­other man, I still cared for my ex and wor­ried about his wel­fare. I would even sneak him food and pay his elec­tric bill be­hind my hus­band’s back. My hus­band oc­ca­sion­ally would for­bid my kids and me from hav­ing con­tact with my ex. He had a point.

My ex and I had at­tempted to rec­on­cile in April, but I couldn’t do it. Dur­ing the drive back to my hus­band, my ex phoned and begged me to re­turn. I told him I was afraid of him. He yelled, “No­body will ever have to worry about me any­more.” Twenty min­utes later, I re­ceived a call from his brother, who found him dead.

I blame my­self. His fam­ily does, too. I didn’t even go to his fu­neral, be­cause some of his fam­ily mem­bers had threat­ened to kill me if I showed up. I feel ter­ri­ble for my kids and don’t know how to cope.

Dis­traught Ex

Dear Dis­traught: We are so sorry that you are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing this tragedy, but please know that you are not re­spon­si­ble for your ex’s de­ci­sion to end his life. He sounds like a trou­bled soul who didn’t be­lieve he had any other way out. Please con­tact find a sup­port group for you and your kids. They will be OK, but they could use some help, and they will need you. An­nie’s Mail­box is writ­ten by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, long­time ed­i­tors of the Ann Lan­ders column.

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