Paulsen says no place immune
At first it was weekly, then daily and now almost hourly.
The news is filled with stories of complaints by women who have endured various forms of unwanted sexual conversation, touching, penetration, etc., usually from men with influence in their lives. Given the round-theclock reporting of sexual violence against women, someone asked me if this was now “a thing.”
The short answer is no. The medium answer is no. The long answer is no. Sexual violence against women is not the “latest thing.” Unfortunately, it is a way of life that has been acceptable for far too long. Recent, wide scale public disclosures started with the #metoo movement. The campaign seemed to open the floodgates for (mostly) women to come forward with stories of unwanted contact. The details ranged from inappropriate comments to sexual assault.
The sheer volume of incidents seemed overwhelming and daunting. Celebrity complaints and experiences are leading the way. For once, pop cultural influence seems to be working for good instead of body shaming, wealth flaunting evil. However, the sheer abundance of celebrities stepping forward gives the impression that sexual violence against women is somehow removed from everyday life in places like Saskatoon and is simply a “cause celebre.”
Further confusing the issue is that no one believes Harvey Weinstein is really in Saskatoon. Powerful movie executives, and the celebrity culture that surrounds them, are not a part of daily life in Saskatoon. But, actually, Harvey is here. He lives in every inappropriate manager, bar creep, and anyone else in a role where they have power (no matter how small) over a woman.
The main strength of #metoo is mass volume. There is power, and protection, in numbers. Sexual assault is a devastating and isolating experience. Being surrounded by others with a common history brings victims out of their isolation and into the comfort of others with shared suffering. While it seems ironic to call something like a #metoo campaign a raging success, the movement achieved its objectives by creating a safety blanket for women as they made public some of the most humiliating experiences of their lives.
However, the huge number of women speaking about sexual violence is now being used as a method of de-legitimizing their complaints. The implication is that women are now coming forward, not because they have actually experienced sexual violence, but rather because it’s the “in” thing to do.
This de-legitimization is an all too common experience for women. One of the main reasons women do not come forward with reports of sexual violence is the fear of being labelled — at best as a weirdo troublemaker, and at worst as someone who asked for, or invited, the attention. At their core, both definitions involve an attack on a women’s credibility. It is a double helping of abuse — first, the suffering of the attack itself and then, if one is brave enough to say anything, dealing with disbelief that the event ever happened.
It is now, finally, time to acknowledge not just the prevalence but the epidemic of sexual violence against women. The huge number of #metoo stories is not “a thing.” It’s a sad reality of our society today. If it helps you to feel closer to the issue, think about your mother, sister, wife, daughter. But it’s preferable to think about yourself.
You can personalize this issue even if you have not engaged in sexual assault, because it is the acceptance (or the tacit silence) of the inappropriate remarks, the unwanted touch, or the judgment against those victims that perpetuates and continues violence against women.