Elderly aunt shouldn’t have a weapon

This column was originally published in 2012.

Dear Annie: My wife’s aunt “Zelda” is 83 and lives alone. She’s in the early stages of dementia and her short-term memory is rapidly deteriorating. She also is extremely paranoid. She is convinced people are entering her house at night and stealing small items, such as watches. She also owns a gun. I refuse to go into her home at night for fear she’ll shoot me.

We had an alarm system installed, but it was too confusing for Zelda to use and we had to remove it a few weeks later. She told the local police people are entering her yard, so they installed cameras that gave them some fine photos of dogs, cats and raccoons.

Having Zelda live with us is not an option, and she is dead set against moving to an assisted living facility. What can we do? Deeply Concerned

Dear Concerned: If you prefer to keep Zelda in her home, you will need to hire a patient, trustworthy caregiver. You also can take her to an assisted living facility where she could speak to someone who would explain the positive aspects of having nearby medical care and social activities. Most important, she shouldn’t have a weapon in her home if she can’t use it responsibly.

Dear Annie: One of my husband’s sisters remembers my son’s birthday with a card and cheque, but neglects to send anything to my two daughters. This apparent display of favouritism greatly bothers me. At a Loss

Dear At a Loss: You could offer to make family calendars with everyone’s special dates on them. And of course, you could ask your husband to speak to her.