Suspend your disbelief: Leonardo da Vinci has a lot in common with me
Leonardo da Vinci was one of the greatest geniuses who ever lived. Me, not so much.
And yet both of us are credited with long-lost and latterly discovered masterpieces that have the art world buzzing.*
Da Vinci’s is Salvator Mundi (“the saviour of the world”), a painting that fetched US$450 million this month at auction. I like “fetched” — the cliche they always use when something expensive gets sold, much more delicate than “raked in.”
Salvator Mundi depicts Christ with long ringlets and beard, his expression looking suspiciously, um, mellow. He wouldn’t seem out of place taping cables to the floor for a Sheepdogs concert. You might nickname it the Brona Lisa.
Modesty forbids me from describing my piece as one of the finest examples of play art extant, but here are the basics. Its title is Earth 200,000 Miles Away. A lunar landing module, space station and planet command one’s attention. The module has “C,F,K,M” on it: my initials and that of my childhood playmate, Kent McDonald. Using handwriting samples from a Hilroy Exercise Book of the same era, we can determine that the printing is in the artist’s own hand.
DISCOVERY AND RESTORATION
Salvator Mundi was painted around 1500 for the king of France, it is thought. In the 1600s, it disappeared for 200 years. In 1958, it sold for about a hundred bucks. In 2005, it was auctioned by someone to someone else. The owners had it restored and authenticated.
Earth 200,000 Miles Away was created between 1971 and 1973, during the artist’s Playing Under the Stairs period. Indeed, it was discovered under the stairs of the artist’s childhood home around 2005.
In another eerie similarity, both the Salvator Mundi and my piece were damaged over the years. Da Vinci painted his on a sheet of walnut which had warped. Similarly, Earth 200,000 Miles Away has one torn side, as if the paper were casually ripped from a memo pad. At the top are several holes where it was likely pinned to a wall. The paper has faded. Restoration would be required for this to earn top dollar at auction.
TECHNIQUE
Da Vinci spent years on his paintings, re-doing various parts. The thumb on the right hand was initially in a different position before being painted over, laser technology shows. The left hand, holding an orb, has also been changed. Mine seems to have been done in one go, with no alterations. So who’s the genius now?
SHIPPING AND INSURANCE
For expensive masterworks like Salvator Mundi, shippers employ decoy trucks to confuse thieves. I stuffed my picture in my backpack and drove to work. At one point I thought I was being followed, but the guy turned left at 33rd.
If the da Vinci is insured, it’s likely that a handful of companies would collaborate to minimize their potential losses, according to Artnet News. Sometimes, super-rich buyers don’t buy insurance at all since they can afford to lose the piece. That’s certainly the case in my house, where Earth 200,000 Miles Away is displayed in the exercise room beside a vintage Pontiac magazine ad on foam-board.
LEGACY
In one final point of congruity, it seems that da Vinci had 60 beggars follow his funeral procession as stipulated in his will. I’m not dead yet (which explains why my art is still affordable) but I will likely have 60 creditors following my funeral procession, which is the same thing.
*At least, in Leonardo’s case