We once again sink our teeth into Crimes of the Month

What did the police dog say to the suspect? “You have the right to remain delicious.”

No bones about it, November was a busy month for two-legged and four-legged police officers alike, according to information compiled by the extensive staff of Crimes of the Month.

Here are just a few, fur the record.

RUSH HOUR

On Nov. 27, a canine officer notices a speeding car with no tail lights ignoring traffic signals and crashing into two city trees. The driver flees and is found in a perfect hiding place under a deck, until police service dog Rush stops by to shake paws. The sly fox is arrested on outstanding warrants, dangerous driving, hit and run, breach of undertaking and underestimating the olfactory senses of canines.

LOONIE BINS

On Friday or Saturday, Nov. 17 or 18, thieves drill into the coin box of the Carrot River Car Wash. Owners replace the coin box. Then, how’s this for nerve: Thieves return on Monday and drill into it again. Don’t let these car wash vandals get a clean getaway. Submit your tips to saskcrimestoppers.com.

SNAKES ON A TRAIN

Two 23-year-old men from Quebec start using a suspicious-seeming credit card on a passenger train. Staff call police, who find $1,000 worth of postage stamps, $10,000 worth of jewelry, at least 40 gift cards, two laptops and a skimming device on them. Looks like a fraud operation has been derailed, parum-pum.

KEVIN!

On Nov. 19, Yorkton RCMP take a prisoner to hospital in Yorkton who then escapes. Yorkton RCMP ask the public to assist them in finding 33-year-old Kevin Poullett. He is wearing a blue bunny hug, blue pajama pants, hospital slippers and handcuffs. Also, he has a strong Newfoundland accent. Despite blending in with his surroundings, Kevin is soon located.

UBER-DANGEROUS

A woman, 23, advertises her own unregistered taxi service on social media. She drives a 24-yearold man to a convenience store where he steals her car. While she’s talking to police, the man says he’ll return the car. Police pull him over. His next trip is to the police station, where he’s booked for robbery, possession of cocaine and breach of recognizance. No charge for that ride.

SASKADRUNK

When Saskatoon police issue a weekend news release entitled “Very Impaired Out Overnight,” they aren’t kidding. It starts Friday, Nov. 24, when a citizen reports a swerving car. The driver is charged with drunk driving. Five and a half hours later, a car is rear-ended on Eighth Street. The driver refuses to give a breath sample and is charged. About an hour later, police take note of a car being driven erratically and arrest the driver for drunk driving. About two hours after that, a truck strikes a curb hard enough for its cap to fall off. The driver is arrested for drunk driving. Three minutes after that, another car is rear-ended at a red light. The driver is arrested. Conclusion? It was very impaired out overnight.

THE FOUL LINE

In July, some real winners steal 37 sport wheelchairs for children’s basketball. This week, executing a search warrant for stolen vehicles, police find 20 of the wheelchairs near Dalmeny, valued at $80,000. They also find three stolen vehicles. Two 37-year-old men are charged with possession of stolen property over $5,000. They’ll be dribbling through court soon.

JUST ONE MORE

On Nov. 10 at 4:30 a.m. (this shift work is criminal), two males with masks, bats and pipes rob an Assiniboine Drive convenience store. Twenty minutes later, two males with masks, bats and pipes rob a 33rd Street convenience store. A short time later, police pull over a vehicle containing masks, bats, pipes and two dudes with no alibis. Maybe they’ll go on trial together, which would be convenient.