Rifts can take time to heal

Originally published in 2013.

Dear Annie: I would like to reply to Arizona Grandparents, whose daughter won’t allow them to see their grandchild. They asked whether it will ever get better.

My granddaughter was six when my son and his wife divorced and I was no longer allowed to see her. I continued to send her a card and money on birthdays and at Christmas.

I had no idea if she received them. Her other grandmother kept me informed from time to time and even sent me her fifthgrade picture. When she was 14, my granddaughter wrote me a nice letter. I was ecstatic! I wrote her back, but heard nothing.

I had no money for a lawyer and didn’t want to do anything that would put me out of contact. My son lived halfway across the country.

When my granddaughter was 17, my son found her Facebook page. After her 18th birthday, I called her, and she was happy to hear from me. She lived only two hours away. We met at a central location and had a wonderful reunion. Since then, we’ve been in regular contact. She’s now 23, married and expecting her first child.

So, Arizona Grandma, don’t give up.

A Happy Grandma Dear Grandma: We also heard from someone else about this. From Indiana: For two years, I didn’t get to see my grandson. During that time, I did a lot of praying and crying. For his birthday and Christmas, I would leave presents on his front porch.

One day I got a phone call, and my son invited me to come over, saying, “It’s time you got to know your grandson.”

Our first visit lasted three hours. On the way home, I did a lot of praising God and crying. I now get to see him a couple of times a week. He calls me Grandma. I have him in my life now, and we will continue to move forward and not dwell on the past.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.