Always put children first

Originally published in 2013

My daughter “Ashley,” is divorced and has four children. She’s had numerous volatile boyfriends. The last guy sliced the tires on her car.

Ashley tells me to mind my own business, so I have been quiet about her poor choices.

But her latest guy is listed in the state registry of sex offenders for molesting an 11-year-old girl when he was 19. He served two years in prison and claims he is innocent. Ashley has been letting the guy stay at her house. He is unemployed and doesn’t need to be anywhere.

I’m frightened for my grandchildren. I called the police, but they said there is no prohibition on having him live in a home with young children. The children’s fathers haven’t been involved, but I’m wondering if I should tell them what’s going on. I’ve also considered calling the local child protection agency, but I don’t want them to take the children away from Ashley.

If I do any of these things, she may never speak to me again. But I’ll feel terrible if this guy harms those children. Sitting on the Edge

Dear Sitting: You must put the children’s welfare above your relationship with Ashley. Call the local child protection agency and report the situation. They’ll investigate to see whether there’s cause to remove the children. If so, it’s likely the kids would be placed with Ashley’s nearest relative — you. It also could be a wake-up call for Ashley to get the guy out of her house and pay more attention to the consequences of her choices. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.