PACINO STILL PACKS A PUNCH
Veteran actor will win an Emmy for his role in Paterno, writes Chris Lackner.
TV
Big events: The Crossing (April 2, ABC/CTV ); Paterno (April 7, HBO).
Big picture: When 47 refugees and nearly 450 bodies inexplicably wash up on the beach of a small, U.S. fishing town ... it’s basically Fox Mulder’s dream come true. For starters, the “refugees” are from 250 years in future (and some of them are biogenetically enhanced). These travellers from the future are fleeing an epic war, but they may have not been the first to escape their doomsday. (How long have you known your friends and family? More important, do they make robot sounds in their sleep?) The Crossing is the most complicated, convoluted pop cultural mash-up to date: It’s Lost meets refugee crisis meets X-Men meets The Shipping News meets Terminator meets Back to the Future. Steve Zahn and Natalie Martinez lead the ensemble cast.
Meanwhile, Paterno finds Al Pacino starring as the late Pennsylvania State University football legend in an HBO film that examines the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal. Pacino personifies the iconic championship-winning coach — accused by many of possibly looking the other way during his assistant Sandusky’s years of abuse.
Forecast: “You can’t imagine what will become possible,” one wartorn survivor from the future tells us in The Crossing. (Hey, time traveller. Don’t get all high and mighty. Have you seen the news headlines these days? We can imagine just about anything.) On the prediction front: Pacino will win an Emmy; The Crossing will fill a mainstream sci-fi drama void missing since Lost.
MOVIES
Big releases (April 6): Blockers; A Quiet Place.
Big picture: We’ve seen onscreen prom nights played for romance, raunch comedy, drama, horror and coming-of-age adventure. And now we get that coming-ofage adventure from the parents’ perspective (plus a lot of raunch). Three parents — led by wrestler-turned-mediocre-actor-turned-Dwayne-Johnson-wannabe John Cena — join forces on a mission to stop their daughters from losing their virginity on prom night after stumbling across their offspring ’s internet sex pact on social media. “You only block the ones you love,” is the tagline. Raunchy beer-drinking contests (hint: not through the mouth), car chases, shouting, sarcasm, panic and misdemeanours follow. This movie doesn’t have a lot going for it — other than coining the term “ass beer.”
Meanwhile, A Quiet Place is a nearly silent indie horror movie about a family living in a postapocalyptic world — in silence — in order to avoid mysterious creatures that hunt by sound. “Listen closely, move carefully and never make a sound,” we’re warned — along with the advice that “silence is survival.”
In many ways, you can use the same pieces of advice to survive your Easter family dinner table.
Forecast: Cena will continue to be a poor man’s version of The Rock. Johnson’s movies get released between May and August — not the first Friday of April. In other predictions, every time you watch U.S. President Donald Trump speak from now on, you’ll just close your eyes and wish you lived in the silent, dystopian, monster-filled world of A Quiet Place.
MUSIC
Big releases on April 6: Kylie Minogue (Golden); Eels (The Deconstruction); Blackberry Smoke (Find a Light); Flatbush Zombies ( Vacation in Hell).
Big picture: Kylie Minogue Australia’s answer to Madonna. The golden soprano is back with her first studio album since 2015 (and that was a Christmas album). Expect more dance pop — but Minogue also recorded a few tracks in Nashville for some country flavour.
And Eels — which is essentially the creative efforts of Mark Oliver Everett — returns with its first since 2014, which swims in musical waters ranging from rock to Motown.
Meanwhile, Flatbush Zombies is a Brooklyn rap trio with a name that will hopefully inspire the next big undead TV series.
Finally, Blackberry Smoke is a U.S. southern rock outfit from Georgia that proves that band names no longer matter.
Everything’s been done. Just slap some nouns together, kids — and make it a fun play on technology if you can.
Bands of the near future will include Smart Phone Charge, Roomba Roar, internet Icicle and Social Medium.
Forecast: Minogue has described the album as “Dolly Parton standing on a dance floor.”
We’re sold. Except for the standing part.