Explain situation to your ex-husband

Dear Annie: I am finally divorced. My ex and I have a minor child together. He has met my new partner, and they get along great while at our son’s sporting events. I thought it would be healthy for our son to see us as friends.

I also thought it would be nice to meet my ex’s new girlfriend since they’ve been a couple as long as I’ve been with my guy. I made several requests to introduce myself, but she refuses to meet me. I find this odd because she helps take care of my son when he’s in my ex’s home.

My ex never stands up to this woman about her treatment of me, and although I’ve never said a nasty word to her she sends me ranting emails regularly.

For the record, my ex is kind to me when she isn’t around. But when he’s on the phone with me and she’s nearby, he becomes rude and hostile. I’m sure he’s putting on a show for her. I’ve always promoted my child’s father in a positive light, but I am tired of this infantile behaviour. Requests, questions and messages about school activities often go unanswered.

Then he accuses me of not keeping him informed. My family has suggested that I stop communicating with him altogether. What do you think?

Texas Dear Texas: If you have an opportunity to talk privately with your ex, calmly explain that it’s difficult for you to deal with his behaviour on the phone, and you would appreciate it if he would be civil in your interactions. Otherwise, you’ll expect him to get his information through the school, and you will instruct the office to include him. His girlfriend seems abusive to you, and it’s a shame your ex doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to her. (She may be abusive to him, as well.) We trust she does not take this out on your child, but please keep an eye on that.