Husband may be insecure, or a cheater

Originally published in 2013.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for five years. For the most part, we have a great relationship. The problem is my husband is seven years older and had a few bad relationships before we got together. Because of this, he is always telling meiamacheaterand cannot be trusted.

I haven’t done a single thing in my past or present to make him feel this way. It is a constant fight between us. I have suggested maybe we should get counselling so we can work on this, but he hasn’t been willing. Is there anything else I can do to make this annoying part of our relationship go away? Irritated Wife

Dear Irritated: A person who constantly accuses the spouse of cheating when there is no cause is either cheating himself or too insecure to function in a healthy marriage. It is no way to live. First ask him to see his doctor and find out whether there is a medical reason for his behaviour. Then stop “suggesting ” and insist that your husband go with you for counselling. If he refuses, go on your own to decide whether this is something you can tolerate or alleviate.

Dear Annie: Why do stores think having sales associates accost you in every aisle will make you enjoy shopping? A simple “Hello, how may I help you?” is all we need. Following us around and asking all sorts of questions is annoying. Knowing this will happen every time I enter the store makes me want to shop elsewhere.

People like to be acknowledged. They do not like to be hounded. If I want to wander around and look, I don’t enjoy being bombarded by five salespeople asking me the same stuff over and over. A customer who wants help will ask for it. Otherwise, please leave us alone. Businesses should train their employees to treat people as valued customers, not idiots.

Toledo

Dear Toledo: You make a valid argument, but we have to say, for every person who doesn’t want to be accosted, there are 10 who wish they could find a salesperson altogether. If the store employees work on commission, it would explain why they try so hard to make a sale to every customer. It usually suffices to say, “No, thank you. I’m just looking.” If not, feel free to register your complaint with the store manager and see whether it helps.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.