Kids need their fathers

Originally published in 2013.

Dear Annie: Fathers love their children as much as mothers do.

After a divorce, fathers want to be a part of their children’s lives, but can find it incredibly difficult when they are viewed as deadbeats and potential abusers. But it’s the children who lose when they are cut off from their fathers.

So to family court judges, law guardians, social workers: Please help the children. Don’t automatically believe everything you hear. You owe it to the children to investigate and let the father tell his side of the story.

And to all those mothers who think it’s a good idea to remove a father from a child’s life or spread false stories about how bad he is: Think of your children. Please love them more than you hate their father. They need him as much as they need you. Allow them to love him. They take their cues from you, and if they see that you’re upset when they show affection for Daddy, they will believe it is wrong and will stop in order to please you. You think you are punishing your ex, but you are actually punishing your children. Sad Grandma Dear Grandma: We have often said in this column that fathers are incredibly important for their children’s development. Studies have shown that children who have close relationships with loving fathers do better in school and are more likely to stay off drugs. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.