Pregnant woman’s eating habits raise concern

Originally published in 2013.

Dear Annie: I’m very concerned about my pregnant daughter-inlaw’s diet. She studied nutrition in college, but you’d never know it.

My son, his wife and their two little children drove here for an overnight visit so we could see them before her next child is born in August. During their 24-hour visit, my pregnant daughter-in-law drank nothing but soda, and even that wasn’t sweet enough for her, so she added syrup to it. For breakfast, I made eggs, fruit and toast. She had a chocolate candy bar and more soda. I cringed when I saw her two toddlers drinking from her super-sized drink and eating pieces of her candy bar.

They apparently eat regularly at fast-food places. My son told me that his wife, the nutritionist, is having dental problems and was in the hospital a few weeks back for high blood pressure. She told me she doesn’t take calcium supplements. I desperately wanted to say something about her eating habits, but kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want their visit to be uncomfortable. I don’t want to risk alienating my son’s family. I can’t stop worrying about the grandchildren, not to mention her unborn child, who eats what she eats. What should I do? Worried Grandma

Dear Worried: Has she always eaten like this? Could it be hormone-related? You don’t have to be a nutritionist to understand what irresponsible parenting it is to instil such poor eating habits in your children. We recommend you speak to your son privately. He, too, is responsible for his children’s health. Ask gently whether his wife has talked to her obstetrician about how her eating affects their unborn child, and suggest that she do so. If he becomes angry or upset, drop the subject.

Dear Annie: My teacher friends and I are hoping you can help us with a problem that comes up every year at graduation. As physical education, band and music teachers, we are with the same students for several years and develop some wonderful relationships. Each year, we are swamped with graduation and party invitations. Are we supposed to give gifts?

Dear Wichita: A graduation announcement requires nothing more than your best wishes. (An invitation to a graduation is redundant because, as faculty, you are already invited.) An invitation to a party usually necessitates a gift (if you attend), and if you are invited along with your colleagues, you can give a group gift. However, many graduates appreciate a personal letter from a teacher expressing positive thoughts about the student. That, too, is a gift.