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BIZARRE TARIFFS CANADA SLAPS ON OTHER COUNTRIES.

- Tristin Hopper National Post Twitter.com/tristinhop­per thopper@nationalpo­st.com

Tariffs are enjoying a bit of a resurgence of late. The Americans hit us with tariffs on steel and aluminum, and on Canada Day we responded with a scattergun blast of retaliator­y tariffs on everything from ketchup to lawn mowers. On the whole, this is a painful exercise for a country that is normally fanaticall­y pro free trade. With an average tariff rate of only 1.56 per cent, Canada is one of the least tariff-ey countries on earth. But within that 1.56 per cent, the federal government is still slapping secret taxes on a lengthy and Byzantine list of everything from coffee machines to high heels to coffins. Below, a quick tour through the Canadian tariff schedule, one of the country’s most baffling government documents.

THIS MAKES NO SENSE

Oak flooring is subject to a 3.5 per cent tariff, but maple flooring is free. An umbrella is tariffed at seven per cent, but 7.5 per cent if it has a telescopin­g shaft. Women’s running shoes are 18 per cent, but high-end Manolos are only 11 per cent. A staple gun is tariffed at 3.5 per cent, but that rises to 6.5 per cent if they’re sold in packs of two. Every pharmaceut­ical in the world can be imported free into Canada, save for a specific type of gel used in medical examinatio­ns. It would be comforting to assume that there is some grand plan behind the madness of the tariff schedule, but in reality it’s mostly just chaos. “There often is very little logic once you really start to look into the tariffs,” said Adam Taylor, a former federal government trade negotiator and now the founder of the consultanc­y firm Export Action Global.

LEFTOVERS FROM ANOTHER ERA

The tariff schedule is a bit like the Criminal Code: A big, constantly amended document with a whole bunch of outdated stuff in it that nobody has thought to remove. Until 2016, the Criminal Code still contained offences related to “buggery” — and it remains an offence to pretend to be a witch. Similarly, a lot of the weird inconsiste­ncies in the tariff schedule are leftovers from the era when the federal government saw it as a major revenue generator. Oak flooring might have higher tariffs than maple flooring because, back in the 1950s, that was a good way to close a budget gap. Some tariffs may also be leftovers from long-forgotten trade spats. If Canada’s current trade fight with the U.S. is never resolved, for instance, future generation­s might wonder why we placed a punitive tariff on Americanma­de ketchup.

JESUS SAVES

Churches aren’t only paying no property taxes: They’re also getting way cheaper imports. Across the board, products are handed a steep tariff discount if it can be proven that they are specifical­ly for religious use. A regular shawl carries a nine per cent tariff, but a prayer shawl gets in free. Most shoes are hit with an 18 per cent tariff, but “clerical or ecclesiast­ical” shoes only pay 7.5 per cent. A standard leather carrying case will be hit with an 11 per cent tariff at the border, but “fitted cases for church bells” are free. Render unto Caesar, indeed.

IS THIS A VENDETTA?

Canada is generally quite open to trading with fellow British Empire alumni. And yet, there are a handful of weirdly petty categories in which we’ve decided to take the boots to the Aussies and Kiwis. This includes soap, jellies, licorice and the letters put on the sides of houses to indicate the address. Adam Taylor suspects these are all a legacy of NAFTA negotiatio­ns in the 1980s. We may have dropped our tariffs with the U.S. and Mexico, while further sweetening the deal by raising them against our Commonweal­th cousins.

THE MILK BLOCKADE

A stroll through the tariff schedule quickly reveals the utter legal quagmire needed to protect the dairy and egg cartel from competitio­n. Thousands of food products contain milk and eggs, and every single one of them needs to be tracked, monitored and controlled by the Canadian Border Services Agency. Ice cream, cake mixes, pizza, quiche, certain dietary supplement­s and even some types of animal feeds cannot reasonably get into Canada unless they’re within a strict, government­mandated quota — or tariffs as high as 300 per cent.

WE HAVE A TARIFF ON SEWAGE SLUDGE

The most stunning aspect of the tariff schedule is that it has managed to catalogue every single trade-able product known to humankind. The 1,500 page document covers everything from “boring machines” to “bells or buzzers for use in the repair of logging trucks.” Easily the weirdest tariff is number 3825.20.00, the 6.5 per cent tax on “sewage sludge.” To be clear, it doesn’t refer to fertilizer. It’s a catch-all term for the various stages of human waste that end up at urban sewage treatment facilities. As of press time, the National Post was unable to identify any Canadian importer specializi­ng in foreign sewage sludge. Incidental­ly, medical waste such as soiled bandages or used needles can be imported into Canada tariff-free.

CLOTHING IS TARIFFED TO THE HILT

Canada’s most heavily tariffed imports (aside from milk and eggs) are clothing. Almost everything in your closet, from bras to T-shirts to raincoats, was slapped with an 18 per cent tariff at the border. “Canada collects hundreds of millions of dollars every year on tariffs on clothing products,” said Mike Moffatt, a tariff scholar at the Western University. “Those are ultimately paid by the consumer.”

NOTE: Unless specified otherwise, the tariffs listed above are the “most favoured nation” tariff; the rate that must be paid to import from a country that does not have a free-trade agreement with Canada. While Chinese products are subject to the MFN rate, it does not apply to the U.S., the EU and more than a dozen others.

 ?? PETER POWER / THE CANADIAN PRESS ?? The U.S. recently hit Canada with tariffs on steel and aluminum, and on July 1 we responded with more than $16-billion worth of retaliator­y tariffs.
PETER POWER / THE CANADIAN PRESS The U.S. recently hit Canada with tariffs on steel and aluminum, and on July 1 we responded with more than $16-billion worth of retaliator­y tariffs.
 ?? PETER J. THOMPSON / NATIONAL POST ?? Davids Footwear on Toronto’s Bloor Street. Most shoes are hit with an 18 per cent tariff, but “clerical or ecclesiast­ical” shoes only pay 7.5 per cent.
PETER J. THOMPSON / NATIONAL POST Davids Footwear on Toronto’s Bloor Street. Most shoes are hit with an 18 per cent tariff, but “clerical or ecclesiast­ical” shoes only pay 7.5 per cent.

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