Daughter should keep clear of porn-addicted stepfather
Originally published in 2013.
Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old college student and live at home during the summer with my mom and stepdad.
The problem is my stepdad makes me uncomfortable. He is a porn addict. He leaves girlie magazines all over the house and downloads porn on our home computer. As if that isn’t awkward enough, he is always looking at my body. He also checks out my sisters. It is so unnerving that I refuse to wear shorts around him. Worst of all, I can’t wear a swimsuit, knowing he will be gawking at me. I can’t go a day without worrying that he is ogling me. What can I do?
Not So Home Sweet Home
Dear Not: Is your mother aware that her husband checks you out and makes you uncomfortable? She should know. In the meantime, spend as little time around him as possible. If you catch him staring at your body, confront him directly and tell him to stop.
Dear Annie: My grandma is 84 years old and still able to live independently. I spent time in her home a few years ago and discovered that she no longer showers because she is afraid of slipping. Instead, she cleans herself with a rag and soap. Grandma has a distinct body odour that is getting progressively worse, and it’s hard to be close to her. I think she’d want to know this, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Is there any way to politely tell her? Trying To Get Granny To Shower
Dear Trying: Grandma likely doesn’t notice her body odour. You need to let her know, nicely, that she needs to be more thorough. You can offer to help her shower; you can contact the Visiting Nurse Association or hire a nurse’s aide to come regularly; you can discuss the possibility of remodelling her bathroom to make it more accessible; you can look into a transfer bench that lifts her into the tub area.
Also, please check to be sure her laundry is getting done. (Offer to do it for her.) Finally, your family might want to discuss with Grandma the possibility of moving into a senior facility that is set up to alleviate such limitations.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.