Family shocked by sister’s behaviour

The following column was originally published in 2013.

Dear Annie: I am devastated. I just found out that my baby sister, as executor of my older sister’s estate, sold the family house and possessions without discussing this with family or other beneficiaries.

There is nothing we can do to recover the assets unless we initiate legal action to stop her self-serving behaviour, and I don’t want to do that.

We know she also has mixed personal and estate financial matters. She seems to be on a real power trip. She isn’t willing to discuss the issue.

I do not want this horrible experience to ruin our family relationships, but my other sisters and I are shocked and furious about this betrayal.

Do you have any advice other than seeing an attorney?

How can we get our sister to make amends and come to her senses?

What should we do?

So Sad in the Heartland

Dear Sad: If your sister will not listen to you about the assets and continues to commingle personal and estate moneys, your choice is to take legal action or let it go.

Would she be more forthcoming if you and your siblings confronted her and threatened to speak to a lawyer? Is there anyone else she might listen to? Will you be able to forgive her?

We know you value the relationship, but sometimes a betrayal is so sharp that it is not possible to salvage anything when all is said and done.

We suggest you discuss your options with your other sisters and make a joint decision that all of you can live with.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.