Be honest, and take steps to get better

This Classic Annie’s Mailbox column was originally published in 2014.

Dear Annie: My girlfriend of two years has just asked whether we should move in together. I'm currently living with my parents, so we would be living at her place.

I'm not sure how to respond to “Dayna's” request. I don't want her to think I don't like her. But at the age of 27, I still wet the bed. Whenever I am at Dayna's place, I never let myself fall asleep for fear of soiling both her mattress and our relationship. I always find a reason to leave before morning. How do I broach this subject with her?

— Bedwetter

Dear Bedwetter: Childhood enuresis that persists into adulthood often runs in families. (Adult-onset enuresis may be a result of diabetes, sleep apnea, urinary tract infections and neurological disorders.) First, see your doctor to find out whether you can get this under control. Discuss medications and exercises to increase bladder capacity. Limit your beverage intake so you aren't drinking past late afternoon. Alcohol and caffeine can aggravate the condition.

You are under no obligation to move in with Dayna regardless of the reason. But this issue is likely to come up at some point in the future, so you should work on the conversation you will need to have. It is important that you be honest, that you make it clear that you are working on it and that you will take precautions so she is not inconvenienced. We hope she will care enough about you to be understanding.

Dear Annie: I need some advice as to whether I should report a neighbour to our local sheriff. He wears a loaded revolver on his hip all the time, and I don't know whether he has a permit to carry.

This neighbour frightens me. He once said, “Nobody fools with me,” and then patted the gun. None of my neighbours like or respect this man. My concern is that this potential crackpot could go bananas and shoot someone. I would feel terrible if there was something I could have done to prevent a tragedy. What should I do?

— Concerned in Pennsylvania

Dear Concerned: Report him to police, preferably as group with your neighbours, but even without if necessary.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.