Brother with disability needs an advocate
Dear Annie: My husband’s half-brother is 59 and working as a custodian. “John” can converse well, but has a learning disability and cannot read. He did OK while his mother was alive, but she died, and then John’s wife died within the same year.
John has four adult children. The youngest also has some difficulties and is childlike in his perception of the world.
Here is the problem: John and his youngest son both work for a man who pays them minimum wage. He takes out Social Security taxes, but then does not pay the government, which then comes after John to pay his taxes, so he ends up paying twice. When John needed a car to travel to various janitorial jobs, the boss began withholding $200 a month from his paycheque, which he claimed he would save so John could buy a better car. Now we hear that the boss is selling John his own used car for double the book price at 18-percent interest. I want to report this employer, but John is afraid he will lose his job. He has tried working with a lawyer to get disability, but fails to show up for appointments, partly because he cannot read his mail informing him when to be there.
— Disgusted in Iowa
Dear Disgusted: John’s employer is taking illegal advantage of him. Please talk to your husband and also to John about contacting Disability Rights Iowa to report the situation. Someone there can also help John deal with his fear of losing his job. You may need to enlist the help of his children or a caregiver to go through his mail, drive him to appointments and make sure he does what is necessary to rectify this situation.
Dear Annie: This month I celebrated a milestone birthday. My stepson visited (to see his father) and noticed all of the birthday cards I had laid out on the table. He asked when my birthday was and I told him.
I have been his stepmother for 20 years, but I get no acknowledgment from my stepson. I didn’t this year, either, even after I told him when it was.
I’ve mentioned it to my husband in the past, but he says, “Get over it. You are too sensitive.” Am I wrong to feel disappointed? — Texas
Dear Texas: You should talk to your stepson. Don’t be angry about it. He probably doesn’t realize that you’d like a card from him. Simply say how much it would mean to you if he would acknowledge your birthday.