THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MEN
A glut of celebrity men slim down — if they can do it ...
It was on a beach this summer when it dawned on me that I had to lose some weight.
“Take your top off,” said my wife. I made my excuses but the truth is I was embarrassed as to how I could get to nearly 50 and look the way I do and scared there was every chance concerned onlookers might try to roll me back into the sea.
Remember the trolling Leonardo Dicaprio suffered in 2014 when his bare belly was splashed across the New York Post under the headline The Great Fatsby?
Today, men in the public eye are being held to the same ridiculous body standards as their female counterparts and everywhere you look there’s a 50-something hell-bent on recapturing their lean, lithe look of yesteryear. Jeremy Clarkson, 59, has lost 28 lbs. after going on a diet of salads. Stephen Fry walked eight miles every morning to drop down from 294 lbs. to 210, while Simon Cowell has lost 20 lbs. thanks, he claims, to his new vegan diet.
But why are more and more middle-aged men taking the fight to the flab these days? Not wanting to die prematurely seems to be a key driver.
Ask yourself why you want to lose weight before you embark on your new regime. Is it your health? For your family? Or is it just vanity? They’re all valid reasons.
I’m sick of looking fat-faced in photos. I hate wearing the same clothes week in, week out, when I’ve got a wardrobe full of others I’d love to wear again. It’s not like I’m morbidly obese. But I should lose about 15 lbs. and I’m determined to do it in time for my 50th birthday in November.
But it’s hard work getting in shape when you’re close to 50 — and it has nothing to do with me being lazy. Well, not entirely. As men age, levels of testosterone and human growth hormone, which helps regulate the body, deteriorate, making it harder to burn calories and build muscle, so your muscle mass decreases. Men can lose up to 500 g of muscle mass each year by the age of 50, and that muscle is often replaced by new layers of fat that congregate around the stomach and the chest. In short, the creeping onset of moobs (man boobs) and the middle-aged spread.
So how do you fight back? Well, eat less, eat better and do more exercise. Simple, right? Yes and no. It obviously helps if you can get to the gym and, more importantly, if you have a personal trainer there who’ll kick you in the kettlebells when he or she thinks you’re slacking. The fact that they weigh and measure you each week certainly helps with motivation too.
Stick to proteins like fish, eggs and nuts, good fats like those found in avocados and healthy carbs like sweet potato. Cutting down on sugar is essential, as is planning your food. Make a meal plan each week, go out and buy the food you need and stick to it.
Fortunately, technology can help. I have an app called My Fitness Pal that was recommended by a friend who looks after himself properly. It logs each and every calorie that passes my lips and offsets them against the exercise I do each day. It also charts my weight, whether I’m on track to reach my target weight and, I suspect, how fantastically dull I’ve become since I’ve been on this health kick.
Back in 2004, I interviewed golfer Colin Montgomerie in one of his leaner periods and talk turned to his dramatic weight loss.
“Nothing,” he told me, “tastes as good as slim feels.”
While Monty may have lifted that line from Kate Moss, he had a point, because when you start to see real results it can quickly become an obsession. I’ve lost 10 lbs. in six weeks. My biceps are 3cm bigger, my belly is down by the same and I’ve got a jawline. I’ve lost a cup size, too.