Wait until age 16 before starting to date boys

Dear Annie: I’ve known Owen for four years, and we are in various classes together. We email regularly and chat all the time, and I consider him my best friend. Our parents are good friends, too.

Recently, Owen and I have become closer than “just friends” and privately expressed our feelings for each other. However, once our parents found out, they promptly shut us down, saying we were “unqualified” and “underage.”

We didn’t even kiss, let alone have sex. My parents have always been protective, and I appreciate that, but this is upsetting to me. Owen is a great guy. We are both very responsible kids. I don’t have a fantastic relationship with my parents, so I tend not to be that open with them. It’s not comfortable for me. Both my parents and Owen’s seem to have brushed aside the whole thing as if it never occurred. What should I do? — A.

Dear A.: It depends on how old you are. If you are not yet

16, your parents are wise to put a lid on this. The reason is, these things can get out of control, even though you are both responsible. It starts with expressing your feelings, then kissing, and then one of you will undoubtedly want the relationship to progress to the next level. As teenagers, your emotions tend to get ahead of your brain. (This can happen even after you are 16, but that is a more acceptable age to begin dating.)

Your feelings for Owen are perfectly normal, but please don’t do too much too soon. And it would be unwise to hide your activities from your parents. If you don’t think you can talk to them about this, confide in an older sibling, an aunt or uncle, or a grandparent or family friend. It will help. Promise.

Dear Annie: I think it’s wonderful that Sugar Mama has planned for her retirement. My husband and I have some simple advice: “Spend your children’s inheritance.” If the kids aren’t expecting money, they will stand on their own two feet. If you decide (as my mom did) to help the grandchildren, it is a delightful surprise, and you reap the thanks while you can enjoy it.

Sugar should go on that cruise and be generous with her friend. If her daughter doesn’t like it, she will have to live with her own disappointment while Mom is having a wonderful life, well earned. — West Virginia