Self-absorbed friend may be dealing with serious health issues

This column was originally published in 2014.

Dear Annie: I have had a best friend for nearly 20 years. However, in the past six or seven years, “Gloria” has become very self-absorbed and selfish.

She refuses to show any reciprocity for favours or kindnesses. She seems to have time only for doctors, workouts and different physical therapies. She says she wants others to take care of her and threatens to hurt herself if she doesn’t get enough attention.

Gloria says she values my friendship, but I guess it’s only when I am doing her a favour. I have decided that I’ve had enough and will break off all communication with her.

Do I owe her an explanation, or should I simply be unavailable when she calls? In the past, I’ve told her how she makes me feel, but she shrugs it off and does nothing.

I don’t want to be mean, and I worry that telling her off would only make me feel better. What is the right thing to do?

Soured on Her Friendship

Dear Soured: Is Gloria well? If she spends all her time seeing doctors and getting physical therapy, it sounds as though she may have some serious medical issues.

This, of course, does not excuse her from behaving like a caring human being, but it may explain why she is so self-involved.

Since you are ready to terminate the friendship anyway, it would do no harm to ask Gloria about her health, and also let her know that her attitude has eroded the relationship. We hope she is willing to work on this.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.